Write Well Me

Letters to a Pig

As life has changed for me and the girls, I find it interesting how each of us deal with the major life changes we're undergoing.

Anastasia is a funny little thing.  Kathryn and I can be having a serious conversation about how we can make the weekly transition from their father's house to mine, and Anastasia is crying over the fact that the pig from last year's agricultural fair probably won't be at this year's fair because it's been slaughtered for bacon.

She's also the same, big-hearted girl who created a photo album for the two little girls who were moving into our old house.  She filled it with description of things they could do in the house, the yard, and the creek, as well as great hide-and-go-seek spots.  

Once we knew we were going to sell the house and move, Anastasia figured out what toys, clothes, and stuffed animals would go to my house and her dad's house.  She split up her stuffed animals and had some criteria for which stuffed animals would go to which place.

So, how does she deal with living in two houses and having her parents be separated? Stuffed animals at one house write letters to the other stuffed animals at the other house.

Dear Boy Lion,

I've missed you so much!  You know, town houses are really super-dooper cool!  You can always tell if the pool's crowded, and it's near the road.  How are you? I just can't wait to hear all about the town house.

Love,
Orange Lion

P.S. How's my handwriting?

Dear Soft Pig,

We miss you so much! I hope that you and Charles are having a great time. I think it's great that you're not so shy anymore.

Love,
Wilbur

Dear Soft Pig,

I miss you, too!  How's living in an apartment? Are twin beds really bad?

From,
Small Fat Pig

Dear Princess,

Hi! How are you? You know that being really super big alone is sad? I hope you're making friends.  How's Bilbo? I hope you two are just dandy.  Giraffe has been really nice and understanding, but it's just not the same without you.

Your Best Buddy,
Big Dog

Dear Pinky,

How have you been? Life here is pretty cool, but it's just too different. I miss the old house. How about you?

Love,
New Pig

Dear Pinky,

Just wanted to say hey to my second best bud! I've missed you a LOT. I'm not good with change.

Love,
Snorky

Dear Ducks from Cows,

How are you guys? I hope you guys have a fantastic honeymoon! We are going to have a dinner in blacklight! I think, since you have a balcony, you should have a dinner beneath the stars. By the way, how is little jr.?

Dear Boa,

Hi! I know we are not best friends yet, but I think it would be special for you to get a letter especially to you. Did I use the word right? Oh, well. Do you get to sleep with Anastasia? We just got out of the box, so we're waiting til tonight.

Bye!
Snake

31 Days of Clearning - Days 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5

This month's game is clearning:  cleaning, clearing, and learning, brought to you by Stacy.

I just got a new computer (yay!!!), and it involves hours and hours and hours of getting the drivers and software installed as well as transferring all the settings. 

Hours and hours.

But one of the things I love (other than the Corvette-like speed) is the opportunity to clear out old files, get rid of Outlook profiles I no longer use, and trim down the dozens of websites I've once upon a time accessed.

So I'm not only working faster, but I've removed a lot of clutter.  I don't even have a microsecond of looking at all the Outlook profiles I have to scroll through before I get to the one I want.  The only thing I see is what I use currently.

What have I learned? (Because Stacy insists that learning is part of clearning.)  I've learned - or had reinforced - that clutter bothers me.  I want things pared down to only what I use and need.  Anything else takes up even a slight bit of attention.  And it's not necessary.

2 License Plates for the Price of 1

I haven't done license plates in a while because, well, there just haven't been any really good ones worth taking the time to blog about.

But that all changed Sunday. (And thanks to running partner Dawn B for pointing out the connection!)

The first license plate:

JO KNEE

Nothing spectacular, right?

The car in front of JO KNEE has the following license plate:

YANKLE

Dawn B had to say it out loud for me: "Jo knee and y'ankle..." We guess that they must be orthopaedists.

Taken together, those  might be the best license plates ever!

28 Days of Love - 2/20/10

I've had some amazing connections this week.  From a two-hour creative planning session with one of my three favorite clients, to girlfriend calls that last into the night, to a work/play date with my BFF, to clients who really look out for my well-being, to conversations that make me smile....

To quote one of my favorite movies:  "Love actually IS all around."

28 Days of Love - 2/15/10

I haven't played 28 Days of Love until now for a couple of reasons.  There's the old standby that I've been very busy. (A tweaked time management system and a new computer should help with that!)

It's not that I don't love or that I don't have plenty of stuff to talk about with regard to love.  I compose posts in my head all the time, and I'm still looking for that technology to be invented that takes it out of my head and into my blog.

So why today to do my first love post?  Wouldn't yesterday have made more sense?  For some people, perhaps.  I've never been a big fan of Valentine's Day.  One day a year when your significant other professes affection? What about the other 364 days of the year? I'd prefer daily Valentine's Day.

I pick today to express my gratitude for all the love I have to give and to receive in my  life.  I love with all my heart, and while that can get me hurt sometimes, I'm still glad I love that way.  And I'm lucky enough that I have people in my life who love me in return.

I've said before that connection and intensity are absolutely crucial for me; they're nourishment for my soul.  When those are there, it's indicative of the deepest kind of love that there is - for me.

May you have much love in your life.

31 Days of Self-care - 1/13/10

Sometimes we just don't give ourselves credit.  I can beat myself up and up and up over all sorts of things, and lately the beating is around how much I'm NOT writing.  Of course, I wrote three times last week, including one long outing on Thursday, and I've already written twice this week - and it's only Wednesday.  :)

I track the number of words I write at each sitting.  I don't have a word goal for each session. Heck, just writing is goal enough.  When I looked at today's number, I realized I've doubled the word content of the story I'm working on in the last two months, AND I know how the story will end.  And I'm very close.

Just looking at the big picture and acknowledging how far I've come makes beating myself up look pretty stupid in retrospect (as it probably always should - but "should" is a topic for another self-care day".

31 Days of Self-care - 1/7/10

Toni Jo and I were talking about the whole 31 Days of Self-care project, and it led us quickly to lotions.  One might not think that putting on lotion is an act of self-care, but it really can be.  Especially if you're stupid like me and don't want to use lotions because - get this - if I use a cool lotion, then It. Runs. Out.

Toni Jo reminded me that I could - gasp - buy more. 

What a concept.

So today's act of self-care was actually USING the cool Mary Kay Satin Hands three-step lotion system.  And, hey, I haven't even run out.

31 Days of Self-care - 1/6/10

Funny enough, I think just having these 31 days of self-care is self-care in and of itself for me.  Sounds stupid, I know, but that's how it seems to be working.

I find myself thinking all throughout the day, "What action of self-care am I taking?" "What will I write about for 31 Days of Self-care?" "What can I do to take care of myself?"

Most of the time, it feels like little stuff: stopping work at 2:20 for a break before I go get Small Child from school.  Working out.  Writing in my journal.  Planning today so that I don't keep stressing over how much work I have to get done and how there's no time to do it.

What does today and self-care hold? No clue.  :) One thing that is on the list is to watch the very first episode of True Blood (I got the entire first season on DVD for my birthday in October).  So, at 5:00 p.m. eastern, that's where I should be - watching Sookie and vampires and shapeshifters.

31 Days of Self-care - 1/3/10

I'm glad I'm playing along a little earlier than I have for 30 Days of Thanks and 31 Days of Wishes.

:)

I don't see any problem playing the self-care game.  I know I'm at my best - doing good work, being a good mom, being a good human - when I take good care of myself.

This is already a daily thing for me, but that by no means implies that I have self-care mastered.  No, it just means that it's always on my mind. 

As I took several days off around the holidays, I thought about how I'd want my days - normal work days (as if such a thing exists) - to go.  I already get up at 6:00 in order to be ready for breakfast with my daughters before they go to school.  I'm committing to using several of those days a week to write - which is a big part of self-care for me.

My next plan is, when possible, to stop working at 2:00 p.m., and I'll have an hour before I have to pick up Small Child from school.  During that hour, I'll either work out, write (if I haven't that morning, or maybe even if I have), or just veg.  If I need to come back to work after picking up Small Child, I can.  (See, I have to convince myself that it's okay to take time away from work - hence why self-care is something I think about - and try to practice - every day.)

So self-care starts with writing in the morning before breakfast, taking a break from work at 2:00 p.m., and following my energy. (More on that in an upcoming self-care post.)

31 Days of Wishes - 12/22/09

After my last post on the 31 Days of Wishes, I didn't think I'd have any more wishes.  :) 

But then I got an email from someone, and it was obvious that this person, someone who I thought really knew me, didn't get me at all.

I realize we all have our own stuff we carry around, and we see the world through our unique filters. I have a Dawn Filter, you have a You Filter, and so on.  While I can't completely divorce myself from my Dawn Filter, I do try to look at others, understanding that who they are, what they do, what they bring to the world... has nothing to do with me.

But still.... my greatest desire, my greatest WISH then, is to see and be seen.  Stacy and I have talked about this over and over, and it's probably not a coincidence that she just wrote about this very thing in her own blog.

I want to be seen for who I am. Understood.  Seen all the way to my core.  And I try to do the same for others.  I'm honored when I'm let in to see the deep, authentic core of a person.

Right now, the number of people who really see - who really get who Dawn is - can be counted on one hand, and that's after removing a couple of fingers.  I do understand that I can't have the type of relationship I want - intense and connected - with everyone in my life.  It's just not possible. 

What I do wish for, though, is that those people who I let in - that they see me, and allow me to see them.

And I wish for that for everyone.

31 Days of Wishes - 12/18/09

I've found it very interesting that I'm not drawn to playing 31 Days of Wishes nearly as much as I was to 30 Days of Thanks.  I wished one wish, to sell my house. Stacy posted this comment, "I wonder if you also do some wishes for others if the Universe is more likely to grant yours faster?"

That stopped me almost dead-cold.  

Since then, I've spent a lot of time thinking about the idea of wishes, and here's what came up for me.  (And this is true for me, but I by no means think it's true for all.)

I believe everyone is responsible for his/her life.  If there's something I want or desire, then it's up to me to get it.   

And this led to that most people wish for really big things, things that you can't really get on your own.  For me, this has been reinforced by movies, stories, fairy tales.  Jack gets three wishes.  The genie grants three wishes.  You close your eyes, throw the coin in the fountain, and wish.  Because it's these magical creatures/energy granting our wishes (fairy, genie, a wishing well), we usually wish for big things.

Think about some of the things we might wish for.  World peace.  Now, is that something I, all by myself, can bring about?  No.  I can certainly do my part, but it's one of those big wishes.  Wish for no one to go hungry.  Again, I can't do that by myself, but I can do my part.

Finally, that led to this....

What I truly wish for is that everyone has all the help he or she needs to bring about his/her wishes.

31 Days of Wishes - I'll Play

Stacy got so inspired by co-launching 30 Days of Thanks that she's decided to create a theme for each month.  December's theme is, appropriately, 31 Days of Wishes.  Wishes is similar to Thanks - each day (optimally, although you can see I haven't played that way), you write - in a blog post, Facebook status, Tweet, or whatever - what you wish for.  And your wishes can be anything... gift-related, wishes and hopes for the world, dreams of the future... the sky is the limit.

As I've been thinking of this all four days of December (and, yes, I'm only now posting on December 4), my wish is the same each day:  to sell my house - soon!  Specifically, I wish to get a solid offer on this house this month of December which will lead to a closing in January of 2010.

Check out 31 Days of Wishes and may all your wishes come true.

License Plate - Only One

Yes, it's only one, but it's a great one.  :)  (Thanks to Laura for sending it to me.)

Let's set the scene...

Red corvette

Driven by a woman

License plate says.... wait for it...

F THE X

Veritas Liberabit Vos

It's my alma mater's motto:  "Veritas Liberabit Vos" - the truth shall make you free. 

That keeps coming up for me as my own personal motto, as well as the slightly different form of "I speak my truth."

As a result, lately, I've been called a bitch, grumpy, or just very direct.  I don't believe in wasting time, prevaricating, or walking on eggshells around others.  Why do it? 

I'm not overly rude, belligerent, or aggressive.  I just see no point in not speaking the truth.

Truth has its advantages, too.  My newest coaching client who is working on a paranormal romance novel, begged me to tell her the truth.  "Just tell me now if you think I suck, and I'll stop this nonsense and go no further."

I speak my truth - and it shall make me free.

30 Days of Thanks - 11/24/09

Just because I haven't posted in a few days doesn't mean I haven't been thankful.  :)  I've been slightly unplugged (more about that below), and while it's very easy to compose hundreds of posts in my head, I haven't found the automatic method of transferring them from my head to screen. 

• Even though it has passed, I'm still very grateful for taking the time off and doing something that's been on my wanna list for years - visiting the National Gallery of Art and spending as much time as I wanted there.
• While my car got towed during my engaging in said wanna above, I didn't let it ruin my day.  I'm very grateful for no drama. 
• I love my girlfriends, and I am eternally thankful for them.  And I'm even more grateful that I got to spend an entire weekend with them. 
• I'm grateful that it's a holiday week - good food, spending it with great friends and family, and then decorating for Christmas.  Yay!!!
• I'm grateful for my clients, who are also my friends.  I'm a very lucky girl.
• I'm thankful for writing.

May you be thankful this day and all others.

30 Days of Thanks - 11/13/09

I don't know that if it's I'm boring, or that I don't take things for granted.  Whatever the reason, you will see repeated items on my thankful list.

• Chico's. It's really a great store.  When I had shopped there a few weeks ago, I had picked up three shirts in one style (or what I thought was one style) - three different colors.  (Isn't that what personal shoppers tell you to do? Find a style you love and then buy it in different colors?) Anyway, the purple shirt was actually a different style, and I didn't like the cut that much. I returned it to Chico's today with no problems.  But I didn't walk out of there empty-handed.  I have the most gorgeous, sparkly bracelet that appeals to my metal side (for my fashion feng shui experts).
• Rainy, chilly days that go perfectly with eggnog spiced latte from Starbucks.
• The fact that real eggnog is FINALLY in the grocery stores.
• Bloody Mary-flavored Terra chips and Peace brand vanilla almond cereal - both from Whole Foods.
• Mind melding with my clients
• Creating a presentation with Stacy. I love how we work together.  :)
• Working on my short story - Big yays!!!!
• Naps
• It's a weekend!!!

30 Days of Thanks - 11/12/09

I kept meaning to post this yesterday, but I never did, and since the weather is the EXACT same today as it was yesterday, the first thing for which I'm thankful is still valid (although maybe not quite as much as I'm not nearly as excited about a rainy day again today as I was yesterday).

Today, my thankfulness emerges...

• The biggest advantage to a cloudy, rainy day is that I can light candles everywhere and SEE them.  On bright sunny days, I can light all the candles I want, and I wouldn't really notice them.
• My children got all A's on their report cards, and I had to console them over "satisfactory" (as opposed to "excellent") marks in handwriting and participation in one class.  Handwriting.  Geez.  I had to remind THEM to be thankful for the multitudes of A's on their report cards and not get stuck on the one less-than-perfect mark.
• My standards are getting clearer - and stronger - with respect to relationships.  Stacy and I had this conversation a while ago.  She said she didn't want to have anyone in her life that didn't see her as precious.  I'll take that and add to it that I won't have relationships in which it's my complete responsibility to maintain them. In those relationships that it has been that way in the past, I leave them behind - completely and with no regrets.
• Self-care.  It is SO hard for me at times, but I'm grateful that last night I recognized the need to get out of my own head, and off to Starbucks I trotted - alone.
• I am so freaking thankful that I am finished reading Pride and Prejudice and Zombies.  I hated it.  Okay, so why read the whole thing? Because at the beginning it wasn't too bad, and I wanted to see if the author materially changed the original story.  There were some things that the author added in (sexual jokes and lots of vomiting) that just weren't necessary, even to the zombie part of the story. What I've learned is that a parody or an adaptation of a classic I love does NOT work for me.  So, no, I will not be reading Sense and Sensibility and Sea Serpents.
• I am even more freaking grateful that I've moved onto my beloved Miracle and Other Christmas Stories by Connie Willis. I read it every year around Christmas, and it's amazing how my energy shifted just changing from horrid Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and onto Miracle and Other Christmas Stories.

30 Days of Thanks - 11/10/09

Continuing on my 30 Days of Thanks journey....

• Both daughters had their well-child check-ups today.  Kathryn, 13, has been very interested lately in how to get to places, and she's getting a feel for where places are that we frequent.  It says something about how seldom we go to the doctor when Kathryn remarked, "I thought the pediatrician was much farther away than this."  "Well, dear, it's because it's probably been over a year since we've been here.  We don't come here very often." Basically, I'm thankful for healthy children!
• Having amazing people in my life who are there for me.  I'm truly lucky that I am loved and that I love in return.
• Walking with Lee this morning.  That was quite a hill!I'm thankful that I have the physical ability to challenge my body.
• Writing this morning.  I have to walk my talk, and I did this morning.
• I'm thankful for always-on technology.  I'm happy I can just pick up the phone, and even those far away in distance are just a voice note away.

30 Days of Thanks - 11/09/09

Doing 30 Days of Thanks is crucial for me today - and brings home why one would do this at all.  Even on bad days, one needs to remember all the reasons she has to be thankful.  Here are mine:

• I have choice. Boy, that's hard to remember sometimes. While I'm not in control of EVERYTHING (dammit), my actions are my choices.
• Funky energy days will pass.  Tomorrow will be better.  That's comforting, as well as something for which to be thankful.
• Christmas music.  Interesting how last year I couldn't stand to listen to it during upheaval, and this year, I'm listening to it waaaaaaaaaaay early, and it brings me comfort and joy.
• Frank (I had to explain to my children that there's only one person in the world who gets to be referred to only by "Frank."  Every other Frank requires a last name.)
• It may be a funky energy day, and I'm so thankful that it's nowhere near a wonky Dawn day.
• As I went through months of blog posts to find the link for "wonky Dawn" above, I skimmed some of my previous posts.  I'm really very lucky to have the business, relationships, and foundation I have.  I'm thankful to have what I have - in total.

I am thankful for the life I have.

30 Days of Thanks - 11/8/09

I am utterly thankful for

• Earl Grey tea from Teavana
• A stunningly gorgeous red and gold teapot from which to drink delicious Earl Grey tea
• Following my energy.  I didn't know exactly what I was going to do with my early morning, but I decided to just BE and follow my inclinations.  No "shoulds" here!
• The amazing technology that allows me to connect with loved ones far and wide (and sometimes near).
• Grandma
• A beautiful fall day that will showcase our house wonderfully for today's open house.
• Possibilities

30 Days of Thanks - 11/6/09

I'm grateful for Chico's and purple.  I get to combine the two of these pieces of gratitude into one piece of clothing.  :)

I also give thanks for energy and creativity. The possibilities of what I can create are endless, and I'm so grateful for that.  I'm not bored, and I'm so excited about some projects already in place and those that will emerge.

Life is good - and I give thanks.

30 Days of Thanks - 11/4/09

I'm still grateful for Christmas music.  :)  Among other things, I'm grateful for and I give deep thanks for

• Gorgeous fall foliage
• Having moved my desk so that I can look out the window at said fall foliage and watch deer frolic on the playground
• Bright sunny days
• Listening to the weatherman say, "We have a chance of showers today.  Oh, I guess I'd better start being specific... rain showers."  Oooooh, that's right!  We could get snow this year!!! I'm hoping!
• Creativity
• Great, amazing, wonderful clients

Don't forget to play - and give thanks.                                                                           

30 Days of Thanks

So Stacy lets me know she's doing this new thing out of the blue and do I want to play - NOW? Since it's all about giving thanks and being grateful - and I'd had plenty of things today already that I was grateful for, I absolutely wanted to play.  :)

To find out more and play along, too (it's really easy - well, is it ever HARD to say thank you?), visit the 30 Days of Thanks blog.

Today I'm grateful for best friends, Starbucks, collaboration, creativity, and Christmas music.

Maybe I'd better explain some of that.  :)  Kathryn and I went running this afternoon, and the plan was to hopefully cool off enough in time for a pumpkin spice latte. We pull up to our new Safeway (with a Starbucks inside) and see people walking out with Starbucks cups.  These aren't normal Starbucks cups; they've already unveiled their holiday season cups.

Okay, at least it's not before Halloween that they've done this.

We walk into the store and find that not only are they featuring new holiday flavors, eggnog latte and gingerbread spice latte, they also have samples of gingerbread spiced latte RIGHT THERE! As a matter of fact, Friendly Starbucks Guy is adding whipped cream to the samples.

I took my sample, and it was delicious. Tasted like Christmas.  So when we got home and I went in my office to do work, I turned on Christmas music.  Yes, it's November 3, but I certainly enjoyed myself!

What are you thankful for?

What Dawn Is Reading Today 8/22/09

I finished reading The Princess Bride (more on that next week), and, as always happens when I finish a really great book, I struggle with what to read next.

For years, I've had Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat Pray Love on my unread bookshelf.  I've had so many people recommend it to me that I'm right 80% of the time when someone asks, "You know what book you should read?" Let me guess... Eat Pray Love? As a matter of fact, Stacy thought so strongly that I should read it that she bought me a copy back in 2007 when we were vacationing in Massachusetts.

But I still hadn't read it.  On Thursday, I was chatting with Allison, and she said, "May I highly suggest you read EPL - ASAP?"

Fine. I can get hit over the head with a hammer and finally get it.

So I started reading today. And I love it. And I wonder why I didn't read it before. Probably because now was when I really needed to read it.

A few random thoughts and insights about Eat Pray Love:

• I so wish I had written this book. Gilbert's writing style is close to my own - but (sigh) better.
• The first page has this quotation: "Tell the truth, tell the truth, tell the truth."
• I love how she structured the book around the traditional Indian japa malas beads - necklaces with 108 beads. Gilbert wrote 108 stories in her book. There's the whole magic of the number of 108 (it's a multiple of three, and its digits add up to nine, a trinity of threes).
• Along with the smart structure of the number of stories, I love how Gilbert floats back and forth in time to tell her stories - those of her travels and those of how she got there. It flows, and there's no confusion or awkwardness at all in the shifts in time. So smartly written.
• So much of Gilbert's story (at least through page 50) is my story. Here was one of the first pieces that touched me deeply:

"The many reasons I didn't want to be this man's wife anymore are too personal and too sad to share here. Much of it had to do with my problems, but a good portion of our troubles were related to his issues, as well. That's only natural; there are always two figures in a marriage, after all--two votes, two opinions, two conflicting sets of decisions, desires and limitations. But I don't think it's appropriate for me to discuss his issues in my book... I also will not discuss here all the reasons why I did still want to be his wife, or all his wonderfulness, or why I loved him, and why I had married him and why I was unable to imagine life without him. I won't open any of that. Let it be sufficient to say that, on this night, he was still my lighthouse and my albatross in equal measure. The only thing more unthinkable than leaving was staying."

• Gilbert has an amazing storytelling capability, but she is a magician when it comes to language.  Hence, this excerpt:

"Then my heart stood up, brushed itself off, took a deep breath and announced: 'I want a spiritual teacher.' I literally mean it was my heart who said this, speaking through my mouth. I felt this weird division in myself, and my mind stepped out of my body for a moment, spun around to face my heart in astonishment and silently asked, 'You DO?'

'Yes,' replied my heart. 'I do.'

Then my mind asked my heart, a tad sarcastically: 'Since WHEN?'"

• Her explanation of why she wanted to learn Italian (and how the Italian language came to be) soooooo makes me want to learn Italian. Gaelic was top of the list, but Italian might overtake it.
• She's funny (which goes back to the first bullet point and my style and the quality of writing I strive for).  One of many examples: "Giovanni is my Tandem Exchange Partner.  That sounds like an innuendo, but unfortunately it's not." And an even better example: "After meeting the boys in person, I began to wonder if perhaps I should adjust my rule somewhat about remaining celibate this year.  For instance, perhaps I could remain totally celibate except for keeping a pair of handsome twenty-five-year-old Italian twin brothers as lovers. Which was slightly reminiscent of a friend of mine who is vegetarian except for bacon, but nonetheless..." (Funny enough, it's the friend who's vegetarian except for bacon that sticks in my mind the most.)
• This last point is what made me close the book (temporarily) and get up to write this post. So many synchronicities. She talks about all she did to be positive and heal from the trauma the separation and divorce left her.  Of all the things she mentions she did (prayer, therapy, Saint John's wort, and so much more), she ends this paragraph with this last example: "...carefully protected myself from sad movies, books and songs (if anyone even mentioned the words Leonard and Cohen in the same sentence, I would have to leave the room)."

Core Values - My Litmus Test

I know I've written about one thing or another has been a litmus test for me - that thing that I can use to measure qualities in a situation in my life. (And I'm too lazy to go through three years' of posts to find them.)

My current litmus test consists of the core values I came up with during the Craving Balance teleclass program I took earlier this year.

As someone who has been working with coaches for years and does writing coaching myself, I'm pretty familiar with the concept:  look through a list of words (and you wonder why I like this), and pick out those that are my core values.  It's also a bit like Power Words, although Power Words simply resonate with us or have particular meaning for us. Core values are just that: words that exemplify those concepts and states that are at the very center of our being.

Not only was going through the exercise of determining my core values helpful, I do use it as a litmus test or ruler when measuring a situation, person, or idea.  Does this idea bring me joy? Is this relationship in integrity? Does this situation create a sense of aliveness?

I think we were supposed to only have five, but I'm an overachiever and came up with nine.  In all seriousness, although there are some similarities between some of the values, there's enough subtle difference that I went for the nine.

• Aliveness
• Creativity
• Integrity
• Partnership
• Passion
• Fun
• Laughter
• Joy
• Connection

If I ever have a question about anything, I apply it to my core values. I almost always get an answer.

Diet of Change

While I was in Dallas, I had the opportunity to connect with my aunt Harriett.  Recently retired, she's been struggling with her life.  She goes from being too busy to not being busy enough.  She's searching for that fulfilling, ideal, post-career thing to do.  She does some consulting and other work and is very involved with helping out her kids and grandkids.

As we talked about her struggle, she noted, "I wanted change, but not a diet of change."

It was a great metaphor, and one that I had never thought of before.  A diet of change - meaning that change is all we get, day in and day out. Change for breakfast, change for lunch, and change again for dinner.  Oh, and if you want dessert, guess what we've got?! Change!

Just like the phoenix, we need to change to evolve and develop.  But how helpful is it if we experience constant change? At some point, we need to stop and assimilate what's changed.  Figure out how it's affected us.  Try on our new skin.

Phoenix Rising

While I was in Dallas last week for my high school reunion, I also visited my alma mater, Southern Methodist University.  As I walked around, it hit me - and hit me hard - that attending SMU was the first instance of shedding the person I was and emerging as someone new.  Of course, thinking through this made me consider all the other phoenix instances of my life.

1989 - Going to SMU.  This was my opportunity to escape and be free from an abusive childhood.  I remember thinking very clearly that I'd go off to this new school, and even though it was in the same metropolitan area as where I went to high school, very few people would know me.  I could reinvent myself.  Instead of being the smart schoolgirl/nerd from the bad part of town, I could be... anyone.

2001 - The phoenix didn't come back for several years until I went through the AssistU VTP.  More than just a training program to help you start and maintain a virtual assistance business, it was a transformative program that fundamentally changed the way I saw myself, my business, and people with whom I connected.  While I had always been fairly self-confident, I now saw myself as truly valuable and as well as what I could do for my clients. 

2004 - A combination of coming on as AssistU's Chief Operating Officer and the resulting deep friendship I began with Stacy.  With Stacy, I've learned about intensity, connections, communication, and saying it all. 

2008 - I went to BEA.  I knew no one and was completely alone. I actually pitched my book to agents.  I still don't know where the heck I got that particular form of courage from.  A few months later, I went on to Dallas to exhibit at the eWomen Network Publishing Conference.  At the same time, events were set in motion that would lead to the next incarnation of the phoenix....

2009 - so far, the whole freaking year.  I'm looking at my life completely changing, in a way I've never anticipated.  I've gone from thinking I lived the perfect life, in the perfect marriage, in the perfect house to being on my own, completely responsible for my finances, safety, and well-being.  I'll figure out who I am and embark on a journey that I can't even fathom right now.

Perhaps we all are phoenixes at one point or another in our lives.  Maybe we have to be to truly evolve and grow.  Where has your phoenix shown up?

Structuring work. How do you do it?

My hero is Marie Schulz, the VA that Stacy and I share at AssistU.  She's online at 9:00 a.m., and she's pretty much offline by 5 or 6:00 p.m. at the latest. I've NEVER seen her online (or gotten an email or whatever from her) in the evenings or weekends. Sigh.

The way I used to structure my days (ha!) was to have a list of things to do, and then, theoretically, I could stop working when they got done. Uh huh. Well, with scheduling overoptimistically (I'll design this website in one hour) and then adding on a very full workload, I realized that didn't work so well for me. It's not that I worked 20-hour days until I got my to-do list done (I'm not stupid), but I'd feel like I SHOULD be working.

After a while, I got tired of always feeling like I should be working at night to get those straggling to-do's done or feeling guilty that I didn't. While I love, love, love what I do, I don't want it to rule my life.

So, now I'm looking at my to-do's AND a definite stop time. If it doesn't get done today, then it will get done tomorrow. And I'm done for the day.

Like Stacy, I try to schedule everything (tasks, projects) on my calendar as appointments (I have a separate Outlook calendar for this - I don't keep it in my main Outlook calendar. That may seem like duplicating work, but I find taking my week-at-a-glance as far as appointments and then adding them on to my "project/client work" Outlook calendar helps me prepare for the week and see what I need to do).

The big thing that I've had to realize (with the help of Stacy as my coach) is to set expectations with clients. 'Cuz if it's left up to me and my super-high expectations, I'll think it needs to get done RIGHT NOW. (Imagine a superhero disappearing - running so fast - and then coming back with the project completed, panting heavily.) They don't expect or even need that, and it's almost suicide to try to work at that breakneck speed. So, I give my clients (and me) a deadline of when I'll get that to them. And they've always been okay with that. Go figure. What a surprise that I'm harder on myself than anyone.

And I've been scheduling times in my day for other things - like writing and exercise and quiet time when I first get up. I'm also scheduling creative time where I get to work on my business instead of just in it.

We did this as a poll at AssistU, and asked our community of VAs how they structure their work days.  Here were their choices:

• With definite start and stop times. When the stop time comes around, I stop working no matter what.
• With a to-do list. When the list is done, my day is done.
• A mix of both.
• Some other way. I'll post more about it in the discussion below.

With those as your choices (or any other choices), how do YOU structure your work day?

Where Are You Stuck on the Publishing Path?

Friday was supposed to be launch day, and it ended up being a "soft" launch.  (I always wondered what that meant when a new store had a soft opening. Either they're open or not, right?  I get it now.)  Sure, Write Well U/AuthorSmart classes were open to the public, but I didn't get to make the big broo-ha-ha over it that I wanted.

That's today. A "hard" opening, I guess.

Now, that doesn't mean that I haven't been busy. Au contraire! As a matter of fact, I worked so hard last week that I was getting ideas even as I was going to bed at 1:00 a.m.  The best, most creative, and cutest idea I had was for the announcement of the Write Well U/AuthorSmart merger - and that was the idea that came at 1:00 in the morning as I lay my exhausted head on the pillow. I could write a story about the two little girls who started Write Well U and AuthorSmart, respectively!

Luckily, my BlackBerry is never very far from me, so I quickly emailed (I thought) Gail and asked for a baby picture. She's two hours behind me, so I thought she might be able to get it to me in time for Friday morning.

Friday morning (only five hours later, actually) came, and there was a picture.  However, it was attached to a meeting request. I was so tired the night before. I thought I was sending an email, but in fact sent a meeting request. Gail graciously ignored the fact that I was asking her to attend some weird meeting in which she needed to bring a baby picture and simply attached said pic.

I'd recount the cute story I wrote about the Write Well U/AuthorSmart merger here, but then you'd miss out on those pictures.  So visit the actual announcement, sign up for Fuel for Your Writing Journey, and browse our impressive class offerings.

And I promise I won't send you weird meeting requests at 1:00 a.m.

Word of the Day

I've been playing a game on Twitter where I come up with the word of the day and Tweet about it.  My Twitter friends play along and try to use the word in sentences.  We've had such words as "devastating," "personhood," "seething."

These playful words of the day are a bit like Power Words - words that just stick out and seem to define the day or define you - or on a lighter note, are just cool words you don't see every day.

As I've been busy integrating AuthorSmart into Write Well U (full sunshine and light of the day release on Friday!!!), there's been lots of creating - and lots of messages to me that creating is what I love to do, am fueled to do, and must do to fully live.

So as I was posting today's word of the day on Twitter ("create," in case you hadn't caught that yet), it occurred to me that there's a thought of the day to go along with it:  take time to create.

(And if you're on Twitter and want to play along, be sure to follow me.)

Finishing Yet Another Journal

For someone who had never been a typical journaler (at least what I imagine a typical journaler to be), I'm almost surprised that I've filled up yet another journal.  This second one started July 28, 2007, and I wrote that entry when I was in Shenandoah during a work weekend. The journal ended on Aprili 2, 2009.

It's the pages in between those dates that really amaze me.  In July of 2007 I could have never predicted MOST of the stuff I wrote about during the next 20 or so months. 

So this new journal is the third, with two filled.  And this from the person who used to think that journaling, dedicated, "real" journaling, meant writing every night.  And from the person who started different journals for various purposes: dreams, self-empowering women, clearing my head after an argument. Not until the journals were just for me, for whatever I needed, to document or work through whatever I wanted or needed...

I wonder what journeys this one will chronicle.  What will this journal look like (no coincidence that "journal" and "journey" come from the same root)?  What new beginnings? What challenges? What joys? What lessons? What development? What discoveries? What tears? What endings? What beginnings?

I look forward to the journey this journal will chronicle.  I look forward to the companion it will become. I look forward to writing the last page and being amazed at all the pages that came before it.

The Next Step

With so much changing in my life, sometimes it's difficult to see what the next step is.  And I so love to know what the end destination is.  I know, I know.  It's the journey that's important, not the destination.  Yeah, I really believe that, but I get some solace in knowing what at least part of the journey looks like.

One thing that has brought me comfort is this:  I have this image of a path in front of me. I may or may not see the end destination. From Here to There (wherever "there" might be) is a series of different shaped cobblestones. (The different shape is important because it's not a set geometric pattern with a clear path.)  Although I can't figure out how to get from Here to There, I'm comforted by the thought that I'll take a step, and the next cobblestone will light up. Then, I'll take that step, and the next stone will light up. And so on.

Most of the time, that next step lights up right away.  Then there are times when I have no freaking idea what the next step is.  I'm standing on the cobblestone and looking for the next one to light up.  C'mon already!!!  Now!!!

Even if it's not lit up right now (Patience, grasshopper), I know that eventually it will. 

Lost an Ovary; Gained a Short Story - Part II

"Hey, Tammy, how are you?  Me, oh, I'm fine.  I just had surgery a couple of weeks ago to remove a cyst and my left ovary."

Well, Tammy and I hadn't talked in a while, and she wasn't up on everything that was going on with me.  (Although, in truth, if you miss a couple of days in the saga that is Dawn's life, you could get really behind. I do tend to move at the speed of light.)

That's one way to start a conversation.  :)

Anyway, I filled her in on the synchronicity between my health issues and the book I had been writing.  She had some interesting insights on the connection.

• One might wonder why I had written the original container story if I was just going to cut it out and essentially throw it away.  As Tammy said, I had to own my own story.  Once I did that, then it was time, in this particular case, to get rid of it.  (I don't want anyone to think that I propose that all writers throw away all their stories.  Just some maybe. :)
• Tammy thought it was very telling that the piece that was cut out of me was essentially the center (or one of them) of new life.  The trauma in my childhood, which was the basis of the container story, prevented life taking place.
• That story was toxic.  And it affected the ovary as well.  Now the ovary (and the container story) is gone.  And I still have one good ovary.
• The container story was the story of Dawn (and that may have been a mistake - writing a fiction story that so closely mirrored my real life story - but maybe, as above, I had to own that story first).  Now that the ovary is gone, I can give birth to other stories.

Now here's a thought (and I depend on others who know more than I about female biology) - is there any significance in that it was the left ovary that was removed?

Tammy's insights were fascinating, from a personal standpoint as well as from a writer perspective.

My Response

Here was today's Note from the Universe:

I was wondering, Dawn, if we could use your name, story, and likeness to begin promoting a new series here for angel trainees called, "Extreme Success in Time and Space"?

You blow us away every single day.

Thanks,
    The Universe

Sure, Universe.  Happy to oblige.  Good luck with the series.  :)

Words of the Day

Every so often, I have words that are so impactful for me that I have to stop and take notice of them.  And, of course, since I process my world through words, I have to write them down.  (This is part of an ongoing series - at least in my head - of Power Words. See the original post from almost three years ago.)

And so for your viewing pleasure, today's words:

Allow
Shift
Clarity
Love
Trust
Faith
Amazing
Gratitude

Along with the above words, it appears that I have a mantra for today:

Allow.  Breathe.  Live.

What are your words for today?

Commitment

I recently had a friend ask me about commitment.  What does it mean to be committed?  According to Dictionary.com (I went for easy, not Oxford English Dictionary.  Remember, we're trying to find an easy definition, not the 1000 places the word has shown up in history), "commitment" means "a pledge or promise; obligation; engagement; involvement."

So, what does it mean?

Does it mean that if you're committed to something or someone that you're committed to that thing or person to the exclusion of all else?

No.

For example, I'm committed to my writing.  One's perception of being committed to writing might look like this: I get up and write.  I take a break to eat breakfast, absentmindedly kiss my children good-bye for school, all the while thinking about my writing.  They leave for school, and it's back to writing.  I forget to eat lunch, I'm so engrossed in my writing.  When the door opens, accompanied by shouts of "Mommy! We're home," I jump and look guiltily at the clock, the pile of dirty laundry, and the empty pantry.  Ooops.  I hurry down to fix a snack out of old Saltines and the last bit of scraped peanut butter.  As soon as the children settle down to their homework, I rush back up to my creative space to see if I can get a few more pages in before someone magically manifests dinner.  After said magically manifested dinner, I beg off another round of Monopoly, crying out, "But I'm committed to my writing!" Everyone nods in understanding, and there I am back at the computer, churning out pages and pages of beautifully written literature.

Well, that's not how writing goes in my house.

Yes, I'm absolutely committed to my writing.  And I have two daughters.  And I have a business I'm fully engaged in.  And I have relationships I'm committed to.  Writing is important, yes, but I can be committed to many things at once. Somehow, I make them all fit. 

Are there times that one of those priorities takes precedence over another? Absolutely.  If my children are sick, screw the writing, and my clients will understand.  If I've been working too much, then I might need to slack off at home and go play with my friends.

It all works out.

So, while my being committed to writing may not look like that perception above of a truly committed writer, I AM committed.  I write.  I take classes and workshops on writing.  I develop classes and workshops on writing.  I teach writing. I read, sometimes for enjoyment, and sometimes with a writer's eye to how that author did that.  I'm noting scenes, characters, theories, plots... And I write.

What does commitment look like to you?

Push Vs. Pull

In my coaching session with Stacy last week, we talked about all these amazing things that are coming so easily to me:  being approached to give and get paid for - very important! - a writing workshop; potential travel to Boston and Scotland (yes, the country) paid for by my clients; a new collaboration that's going to do wonderful things for Write Well U and writers who are interested in publishing; finishing my short story and working on the next one;  excited about my future...

I gushed and gushed about all these wonderful things happening. It feels like Christmas all the time.

Stacy's observation:  "You've been pushing most of your life to get where you are.  Now, you're not pushing so much, and you're pulling these things to you."

And I realized she's right.  Most of my life has been constant pushing.  The last few months, as rough as they have been, have involved me letting go of some of these areas (maybe all - I can't think of an area where I'm still having to push).  And since I let them go (at the time not realizing how much I had had to push and work), it's freed my energies, and I'm not fighting against the current.

That's where I want to be.  Maybe all of us want to be there, but how many of us really are?  How much of our lives are spent pushing, pushing, pushing because that's the way we think it has to be? Or it's not an ideal situation and we're trying to make the most of it? Or we're taking responsibility for everything to make life bearable, to make it work?  Or we put up with things because we think we have to, because that's just the way things are?

So I give up the pushing, and, instead, I pull things to me.  To put it another way, and to use another metaphor, it's like flowing downstream instead of fighting upstream.  (That metaphor comes from Stacy and when I wrote this post, it was Dominic's birthday weekend.  I wasn't going to bug her for clarification. I'm sure she'll happily comment and expand upon that metaphor if necessary.)

Here's to pulling life, wonder, gifts, desire, joy, love, fulfillment, creativity to me.  Even just writing that sends shivers up my spine. 

Lost an Ovary; Gained a Short Story

Last spring, I had some medical issues come up, of the feminine variety.  To dot all the i's and cross all the t's, my doctor did a biopsy of a cyst he found on my ovary. Common occurrence, regular procedure.  Still, one worries.  Well, at least I did. 

I wrote a bit about the worries and how they were connected to the novel I was writing at the time.  I didn't mention the particular medical issues at the time; they weren't key to the point I was making.  The issue was that I absolutely felt that my health was directly related to what I was writing.  Here's what I said about it:

I have to get this book done.  Writing it is causing mental and physical distress.  Now, I could choose to not write it, but that doesn't feel like an option either.  Not writing it would cause even more mental distress, and maybe more physical problems.  Writing this book will get me well.  So Write Well Me becomes write to get myself well.

Fast forward a bit.  My doctor and I have been keeping an eye on the cyst, and my last exam didn't show anything. "The cyst has shrunk!" declared Dr. Kleinman. By the way, that exam was at the end of January.

With me so far?

Fast forward to two weeks ago and switch gears to the novel.  I decided I just couldn't write in that larger story any more; I was done with it, and wanted no part of it.  However, after my trip to Virginia Beach and being part of Laura's retreat of fabulous women, I resolved to write every day.  I got home from Virginia Beach on Friday night, and I started my writing routine up on Sunday (and I wrote about that here).

That night, swear to God, I started having pain.  I took some Tylenol, went to bed, and pretty much didn't think any more about it.  I woke up Monday morning, pain still there.  It wasn't any worse than cramps, so I still didn't think much about it.

However, as the morning wore on, my pain got worse and worse until I was having trouble breathing and moving. Dr. K. insisted I be seen by a doctor, so I drove myself to his office.  By the time I got there, I was in so much pain he couldn't do an exam.  He sent me to the ER, where, after four hours of waiting, I had a sonogram and a CT scan.  The cyst was back and measured about 5-6 cm (for those of you who aren't intimately familiar with female "stuff," when a woman dilates to 10cm, she's ready to give birth.  The cyst was half the size of a baby's head. Lovely).

Two days later, I had surgery to remove the cyst as well as my left ovary.  According to the surgeon and Dr. K., it was "all mashed in there together and definitely needed to come out."  (As one of my clients said, "Seven years of medical school, and all they can come up with is a term to describe potatoes?")

I can't help but think that it's WAY too much of a coincidence when I made the decision to cut out a major part of my novel (and that part being the piece of the novel that I believed was directly related to my state of health), the health issues recurred on a major scale, and I had that piece cut out of me.

Now I'm down to Ilsa's story, which is lovely, by the way.  Since I'm just working on this as the only story element, I'm down to about 12,000 words. Nothing near what I need for a novel. So, I'll probably make this the feature story in a collection of short stories: Out Of Nothing and Other Short Stories, by Dawn M. Goldberg.

I'm thinking that perhaps there could have been an easier way to get to this place.  ;->

What's In A Name - Part II

(As I went to type this in, I didn't realize I had already written another blog post with that title. It's not related, but "What's In a Name" is a perfect title for this post.  You can go read the original again if you want. It won't hurt you, I promise.)

So, I get tagged - again - on Facebook to do another meme.  I sooooooo wasn't going to do this one (how many Facebook tagging things can one do? All right, don't answer that...), but then it's all about names and words and the like.

Sigh.

Fine.

Here goes.

1. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother & father's middle name)
Lynn Aaron

2. NASCAR NAME: (first name of your mother's dad, father's dad)
George Thomas

3. STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name)
Golda (I really don't like this one. Can't I have a cooler Star Wars name?)

4. DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Purple Hippo (Ain't no one gonna hire a detective named Purple Hippo. Just sayin'.)

5. SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Michelle Meridian

6. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav drink, add "THE" to the beginning)
The Burgundy Cosmo

7. FLY NAME: (first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name)
Darg (Okay, that's funny right there.)

8. GANGSTA NAME: (fav ice cream flavor, fav cookie)
Butter Pecan Chocolate Chip (Sigh. Still no one's going to take me seriously.)

9. ROCK STAR NAME: (current pet's name, current street name)
Sam Woodfield School (It's getting worse....)

10. STRIPPER NAME: (name of your fav perfume/cologne, fav candy)
Beautiful Godiva (Ha!!! Finally! A good one!)

11. PORN NAME: (1st pet, street you grew up on)
Coca Zang (I've always liked this one.)

License Plates

It's time again for words on cars!

In my recent eight-hour-round-trip travels to Virginia Beach and back, I had ample fodder for a post on license plates. Virginia cars always seem to have more vanity plates than Maryland ones. I wonder if it's cheaper to get a customized plate in VA than in MD.

Here you go for your word pleasure:

• WZA TCHR: I just hope she didn't teach English.
• CAR-VETTE: Very cute, and it almost won the prize for most creative until...
• SA-WEET: I'd do this one in a heartbeat.  (And since when do you get to use hyphens on license plates? I don't think we can do that in Maryland.)
• TRST 1ST: At first, I thought "TRST" stood for "TRYST."  There's someone with a secret. Then I figured out it was probably "TRUST FIRST." Oh well. So much for the fun of trysting. 
• NAPTURAL: I'm not completely certain what this means, but if it means the person is a natural nap-taker, I'm all for it.
• 4MYWYFEY: I particularly liked the "Y" and "EY" in "WYFEY." Very cute.
• IMAGOIN: Since I know a couple of Imago therapists, I thought that this might refer to some sort of Imago verb.  Then, I figured out it was probably "I'm a goin'" - I don't think my brain likes to try to decipher four words out of one long string.
• STR8T UP:  Not hugely clever, but I need something to do in my last hour of driving.
• And from Antonette - she needs help figuring this one out:  4MYXTAQ.  I can get the "For my..." The question is for my what?  My ex-something? My extra something?  Any clues?

Rocks In My Life

In my post on three words, Patricia commented, "Stones have such a mystical sense to them, and to use them in this way is lovely. I have a window ledge that could use some stones..."

I hadn't really thought about it before, but I have stones all through my house, including a couple of window sills.  I didn't do it on purpose. "Oh, I must put rocks on this window sill." It was more instinctual, and I didn't really think about it until Patricia's comment.

The more I think about it, the more I realize how much rocks and stones figure into my life. One of my favorite monuments in DC is the FDR Memorial, with all its large rocks (with words on them, yet).  I recently wrote a WOW (Writing On a Whim) prompt about rocks as a metaphor for milestones (huh - just saw the word play there:  rocks/mileSTONES).



Rocks in a circle formation on my altar.  (Note that the card from Cheryl Richardson's Grace Cards collection is "Act," along with one of my favorite art pieces. Nothing to do with rocks; I'm just still amazed by the synchronicity of picking out cards at random.)



Window sill in my bedroom. No rhyme or reason to placement or particular rocks.  They do have to somewhat match, though.



And just in case the rocks on the window sill weren't enough, a little bowl of them.  This makes three places in my bedroom where rocks are a staple.



And now for my office.  Yes, all the rocks (except the big purple one on the left) are black.  The only rhyme or reason to placement.

Living, Not Existing

Last week I had the extreme honor of assisting Laura at her Attraction Marketing and Money Mindset retreat.  I knew I'd be there to be the hostess with the mostest, but I didn't realize that it would be yet one more opportunity to create amazing connections with yet more people. 

One of the things to come out of this retreat from one of the AMMMPers (what I call them) was the idea of truly living, not just existing.  This was a powerful shift for her, and it was a shift for me as well.  I'm pretty vibrant and alive, but with all the personal stuff I've been going through, there's definitely been an element of existing.

I'm going to change that.  I'll live my life and my business with more intention.  I'll make writing part of every day.  And not just all the writing I do on a daily basis - blogging, article writing, Twitter - but fiction writing. I'll be making some changes to my business, good changes, life-giving changes. 

I'll be breathing life into all facets of my life.

Thanks to all the wonderful women at the AMMMP retreat who helped me see this, as they were stepping into their own visions.  They all welcomed me with open arms and hearts, even though they were at this retreat for them and their businesses; they invited me to be one of them. I look forward to this journey for all of us.

(Awesome women in the pic above:
1st row:  Beth Pelfrey, Teresa O'Neill, Janine Underhill
2nd row:  Joanne Stein Letlow, Beverly Keaton Smith, Laura West, Martha Pasternack, Laurie Mandato, Chris Baeza)

Marketing Upsells to Witches

I watched Bedknobs and Broomsticks last weekend.  I was recovering from a cold, couldn't work anymore, and the number of movies on my DVR that I haven't watched was starting to stress me out.  (You don't get much more anal than I. Hence, why I went back and changed "than me" to "than I" when Miss Stacy Brice called me out on it.)

It was cute, although at times a little slow (sorry, Antonette). One thing caught my eye, though.  Miss Price (played by a very lovely Angela Lansbury) has sent off for witch lessons from a witch correspondence school. She's found out by the three orphan children staying with her, and so she has to come up with something to keep their silence. (She's a good witch, she is.)

She mentions a special traveling spell she got as a bonus for signing up for the witch correspondence course. The children happily agree, and she imbues a bedknob with the traveling spell, paving the way for traveling beds throughout the movie.

I was struck by that.  Even a Disney movie (and I don't know if the original 1943 book describes this marketing technique) can teach a thing or two about marketing.

Get the prospective buyer to commit by offering a bonus!  Whether that's some freebie book, Ginsu steak knives, chocolates or a traveling spell.  Upsell! But wait! There's more!

I know that last sounds like I hate upsells. I don't; they're a smart marketing tool.  I just think it's funny that they're everywhere I turn.

Speaking in Metaphors

It shouldn't be a surprise that I speak in metaphors. Maybe it's just the frequency with which I do it.  Here's a challenge for Dawn... try to explain something without using a metaphor.  Probably impossible.

Here are just a few of the metaphors I've been using for writing:

• Editing and gardening:  Sometimes people think that editing is just getting rid of the bad stuff, the deadwood, so to speak.  (See? There I go again.)  Editing and revising is also about paying attention to what's strong and has impact and doing more of that.  Think about your garden or landscaping around your home.  You might have some flowers or plants that have spread because you planted them eight years ago and then haven't really done anything with them.  Now, they're so thick that they're choking on themselves.  So, you prune them back.  You might even subdivide them and find other places in the yard to plant them.  Editing isn't all about removing the ugly weeds.
• Websites and welcome centers:  Think of the home page of your website like a welcome center.  You walk in, and the friendly, helpful docent lets you know what to expect at the site and the things you want to make sure to see.  She might even point out tickets to some of the bigger attractions.  Your website home page functions much the same way.  Welcome your visitor in and give him some direction about where to go next.  And guide him along the way.
• Connecting to readers and garden hoses:  (I must have a thing for landscaping.)  As a writer, your goal is to connect to the reader.  Otherwise, why write?  You want that connection to be strong, much like a nice, wide garden hose.  Imagine you the writer holding one end, and the reader holding other.  You want that stream of meaning to come gushing through, not get caught up in kinks and twists and knots, or by an opening that's much too small to even let a trickle through.

And for those non-writing situations:

• Relationship issues and house renovations:  Working on relationship issues and wiring while still being in the relationship is much like doing major renovations on a 100-year-old house while still living in said old house.  Imagine that your old house has one kitchen and one bathroom, and they're both in such bad repair that you need to gut them both.  Yet you decide to live in the house (and you still need to eat, wash, and do, er, other things) at the same time that your kitchen and bathroom are being torn apart. Any contractor will tell you that it's less stressful, quicker, easier, and more successful just to live somewhere else while those renovations are going on.
• Fear and sleeping dragons:  We all have our stressful times when it feels as if we're just going to be crushed by life.  The dragon is awake! And then there are times when the fears subside, maybe because we have regular ol' life to deal with or because we're stronger on a particular day or whatever.  At that point, the dragon is sleeping nicely in his cave.  We know the dragon will wake up again, and even when he's awake, if we're lucky, we know he'll go back to sleep.  And, eventually, if we're REALLY lucky, he'll go find a different cave altogether.

What metaphors do you use?

25 Random Things About Me

There's this thing going around on Facebook where you write 25 random things about yourself and then tag 25 of your friends to do the same.

Whatever.

I sooooooooo was not going to do this.  Heck, I just did the 7 random things that people don't really care to know about me. Now I had to come up with 25 things people might want to know about me.

But then people kept tagging me, and I found myself actually enjoying reading these things about them. Whether I knew these people well or not, I always got a much better sense of who they were as a result.

So I caved and wrote my own 25. And it does give a better of sense of who I am, if you didn't already know these things.  I'm not going to tag you; I've already done that to my Facebook pals.  This is just a way for you to get to know me.

1.  I like asparagus.  Yes, I know, but I like it anyway.

2.  I'm a writer, and I love words, but I suck at word games like Scrabble and crossword puzzles.  My mind just doesn't work that way. Go figure.

3.  I can still recite a portion of the Prologue to the Canterbury Tales - in Middle English.

4.  I have a huge capacity to feel and to love.

5.  My biggest fear is that I'm so intense that people will walk away from me. 

6.  I know very little about my biological father, other than his name and that I have a half-sister somewhere.

7.  I've been stabbed with scissors, bitten by a Doberman Pinscher three times, run straight into a glass pole and lost a couple of hours of my life, sprained an ankle, had two cuts that required trips to the emergency room, two eye surgeries, one laparascopy, and one surgery to remove tonsils and adenoids. Oh yeah, and two babies. It's a bit like the joke of the sign at the trailer park:  200 days since the last tornado.  In this case, it's been 339 days (and counting) since Dawn's last trip to the hospital.

8.  I was the most popular when I had to start 3rd grade in a new school with stitches on my face from said dog bite in #7.

9.  I have an eclectic taste in movies.  I like chick movies, action movies (go Die Hard!), comedies, dramas, classics, horror flicks...

10.  My taste in music is just about as eclectic, from classical to 80s to easy listening to heavy metal to Celtic.

11.  I dress up for the Maryland Renaissance Festival every year.

12.  I'm a morning person and a night person.  I am not an afternoon person.

13.  My favorite style of decorating is heavy baroque, which is much nicer sounding than French whorehouse.

14.  I can tell you what a predicate nominative is.

15.  I make a mean banana bread as well as yummy yeasty white bread.

16.  I watch movies (see #9), but I'm an abysmal tv watcher.  I cannot commit to shows for very long.  Reruns and the summer hiatus are the kiss of death for a tv show as far as I'm concerned.

17.  Books are crucial to my happiness.

18.  I'm short, 5' 1", but I've developed a big personality to counteract the shortness.  Just ask my former 7th and 8th grade students who were afraid of me (and were way taller than I).

19.  I'm most grateful for the number of people in my life to whom I can say, "I love you." I'm pretty lucky.

20.  I'd go to Dallas in a nanosecond just to eat at Snuffer's.  Probably a good thing I don't live there anymore.

21.  When I get turned on to a new food or drink, I buy copious amounts of it.  Invariably, I get tired of it, and I'm stuck with a gigantic, Costco-sized pack of whatever it is.

22.  My greatest physical assets are my hair, my smile, and my, oh well, never mind.

23.  My greatest desire is to become a published author.

24.  I'm one of the strongest people I know, which can get me into trouble.  I just keep dipping into that well of strength, always expecting it to be there until it runs empty and I crash - SLAM - into a brick wall.  This is all figuratively speaking, of course.

25.  I'm working on happiness, BEing, self-evolution, balance, and I don't see that ever changing.

Tracks

I was pretty young when I started college, 17 years old as a matter of fact.  Soon after starting my freshman year, I met Chris and started on a track.  In my mind, I could see that track going and going and going.  I knew exactly where it was headed.  No doubts at all.  Marriage, kids, and, well, that was the extent of what I could see, but it was the main map of the track.

Over the years, the track has expanded, or the vision has become clearer, to include a business or two, a house, friends... While I couldn't necessarily predict each turn of the meandering route, I was pretty certain what the route was and some of the various stations along the way.

And now, that track no longer exists.  My life is unrecognizable. 

Even with Write Well U, I thought I had that track all figured out.  Develop programs, teach them, bring on trainers to teach said programs, continue to develop even more programs... Now, I realize that maybe that track as well isn't set in concrete (or with iron and railway ties, if we decide to adhere to the initial metaphor).  Maybe Write Well U morphs into something completely different.  I don't know, but I'm leaving my options open.

Funny enough, even though I've been a track girl (believe it or not, I also coached track along with teaching English), I've never been one to make specific plans. You don't catch me making five- or ten-year goals for my business.  I like to keep my options open.  Heck, I closed my VA practice for a couple of years and then reopened it.  I never saw that one coming!  I HAVE learned that life can change in a matter of months (in some cases in Dawn history, weeks and even days).  Yet those various tracks were always there, providing comfort and familiarity and a safety net and even complacency. 

I guess I just never expected that big picture, that track, to all of the sudden disappear.  And I'm leery of creating a new track.  Because I wonder if that gets me into trouble.  I like routine.  I like knowing what to expect.  I want clarity.  Yet, being on a track... can you keep your options open when you've already bought your ticket and boarded the train?

Maybe we NEVER know what the future holds for us in anything. We just think we do. Maybe we never really know what that track looks like or how it will morph.

Maybe there is no such thing as a track.

Stop Me If You've Heard This One

Whenever we drive somewhere, medium child has been reading us jokes from her joke book.  Some of them are true groaners, and I try to tune them out.  Every now and then, however, she comes across one that is a true gem.

Did you hear about the delivery van loaded with thesauruses that crashed into a taxi? 

Witnesses were astonished, shocked, taken aback, surprised, startled, dumbfounded, thunderstruck, caught unawares...

Happy Tuesday.  :)

Three Words

In keeping with trying to push past the fear, I'm trying to focus on positive attitudes.  One thing I'm doing is to keep three magic stones next to my bed so that they're the last thing I see at night and the first thing I see in the morning.  (Okay, well, sometimes my Blackberry is the last thing I see at night and the first thing in the morning, but I'll only admit it here.)

The words on my magic stones?

Bliss

Magic

Abundance

Fear and Courage

Life is always interesting and pitches curve balls every so often.  Life is certainly taking the roller coaster approach for me lately, and it's brought up all sorts of questions.

Does one ever stop being afraid? Do we stagnate and live on the surface for so long because there's no fear there, or not much anyway? Can I go deep and intense and not be afraid? Or just feel the fear and do it anyway?

Since I'm in this mindset, of course, everything seems to apply.  Just a few items that came across my field of vision the day I wrote this:

• Daphne Gray-Grant, in her recent issue of Power Writing, talks about Frank Langella's portrayal of Richard Nixon in Nixon/Frost.  She writes, "Langella, who teaches master classes for actors, then went on to add a more personal and even more interesting digression. 'When I do master classes,' he said, 'what I say is: 'Never give in. Try with every fiber of your being to push past your window of terror.'"
• Next was Christine Kane's newsletter.  As is appropriate for January, she talks about goals and how scary they are for people.  "The only block is your ego.  Your ego wants it to be done now. Your ego wants to move through life risk-free, foolish-free, discouragement-free, mistake-free, tired-free. And the best way to trick your ego (and yourself) into letting go a little bit is to take baby steps. If you read the comments on my blog post on New Years Day, you noticed that many people chose the word "Courage" to guide them through 2009." This was the first loud message that courage goes right along with fear.  Yippee.
• And the next came a newsletter (I swear these were all just back-to-back - at least it seemed so at the time. I'm sure it was just my mind being open to these messages) from Cheryl Richardson.  She talked about seeing the movie Dreamgirls and what a strong reaction she had to it.  "I'm sure you've had a similar experience where you find yourself deeply influenced by a theater performance, a great song, or the stunning beauty of visual art, only to be transported to another place that connects you to your highest potential... It's the energy of inspiration that can be used as divine fuel that keeps us moving in the right direction."  What I got from that was the idea of movement, connection, potential.
• Last, this message from Abraham-Hicks:  "Whatever you are giving your attention to is already vibrating. And when you give your attention to it, if you maintain your focus for as little as 17 seconds, you begin to include its vibration, whatever it is, in your vibration. When you see something you want, and you give it your attention, and you say yes to it, you are including whatever its vibration is in your vibration. When you see something you do not want, and you shout no at it, you are including whatever its vibration is in your vibration."

Where does this leave me? It varies from day to day. Today, I'm trying bullet #3 - connecting with my highest potential.  I'm working with amazing clients, and I'm refocusing on Write Well U (look for more info on that in the next few weeks).

Tomorrow?  Who knows?  Maybe it will be a day where I pick another bullet point and go with that.

Sometimes Small Child Is More Clever Than She Thinks

I picked up small child from school today, and, as today is Friday (known as Movie Day in our house), she started planning what movie she would pick out.

"Kathryn and I have completely opposite tastes in movies.  She likes people movies, and I like violence."

My Professional Mommy ears perked up, and I replied, "You know, you might not want to say you like violence. How about that you like 'action' movies?"

"No," she said.  "I like violence."

"That makes you sound deranged."

"I am deranged."

"You're too cute to be deranged."

Quick as lightning, she replied, "A deranged cuteness.  'There was a strange, deranged cuteness about the curly haired girl.'"

Where does she get this stuff?  And is she really that clever?