Phoenix Rising

While I was in Dallas last week for my high school reunion, I also visited my alma mater, Southern Methodist University.  As I walked around, it hit me - and hit me hard - that attending SMU was the first instance of shedding the person I was and emerging as someone new.  Of course, thinking through this made me consider all the other phoenix instances of my life.

1989 - Going to SMU.  This was my opportunity to escape and be free from an abusive childhood.  I remember thinking very clearly that I'd go off to this new school, and even though it was in the same metropolitan area as where I went to high school, very few people would know me.  I could reinvent myself.  Instead of being the smart schoolgirl/nerd from the bad part of town, I could be... anyone.

2001 - The phoenix didn't come back for several years until I went through the AssistU VTP.  More than just a training program to help you start and maintain a virtual assistance business, it was a transformative program that fundamentally changed the way I saw myself, my business, and people with whom I connected.  While I had always been fairly self-confident, I now saw myself as truly valuable and as well as what I could do for my clients. 

2004 - A combination of coming on as AssistU's Chief Operating Officer and the resulting deep friendship I began with Stacy.  With Stacy, I've learned about intensity, connections, communication, and saying it all. 

2008 - I went to BEA.  I knew no one and was completely alone. I actually pitched my book to agents.  I still don't know where the heck I got that particular form of courage from.  A few months later, I went on to Dallas to exhibit at the eWomen Network Publishing Conference.  At the same time, events were set in motion that would lead to the next incarnation of the phoenix....

2009 - so far, the whole freaking year.  I'm looking at my life completely changing, in a way I've never anticipated.  I've gone from thinking I lived the perfect life, in the perfect marriage, in the perfect house to being on my own, completely responsible for my finances, safety, and well-being.  I'll figure out who I am and embark on a journey that I can't even fathom right now.

Perhaps we all are phoenixes at one point or another in our lives.  Maybe we have to be to truly evolve and grow.  Where has your phoenix shown up?

Comments

[Regina Perry]

A very interesting post, Dawn. I found many similarities to my own life. I attended BEA in NYC in 2007, like you, totally alone. As I walked to Javits the first morning, I wished I'd had a hat. I would have thrown it into the air, just like Mary Tyler MOore. "You're going to make it afterall" was playing in my head the entrie six blocks. I also pitched my book. I felt empowered, like I could conquer the world. I'm also alone now, and never thought I could do that either. But you know what? I'm more than surviving, I'm thriving. Good for you, Girl, and thanks for the reminder. We can do this!
Hugs,
Regina Perry

[Dawn Goldberg]

Regina, thank you for sharing your own experiences.

It was one of those things that hit me in the head as I walked around SMU. I actually stood there with my mouth open. And then cried.

And I as I looked back at my life and I realized the different phoenixes I had shed... it was very powerful.

[Andrea Howe]

I have always thought of myself as a phoenix rising from the ashes- over and over again. My latest change leaves me on my own as well. The possiblity I am creating in my life is that of being free and powerful. This is scary, and at the same time exhilerating. The best part though is knowing that if it doesn't work for me - I can rise from the ashes again.