BEA and Me

Next stop on the crazy train--L.A. for BEA! 

The day before I left, I got a case of the don't-wanna-goes.  Don't wanna go. Don't wanna go.  Don't wanna go.  This actually isn't  unusual.   When I was little and got to spend the night with friends, I'd wish I could stay home.  Stupid thoughts, those.  I'd push them away, go, and have a great time.  Heck, even on some of my work weekends with Stacy I can get the don't-wanna-goes.  Chris thinks it's because I've freed up my time to go away, and then I start thinking of all the things I could do with this free time.  While that may be a small part of it, it's not all.  Most of it comes from, no matter how wonderful the event (sleepover, work weekend with my best friend, or trip across the country to BEA), it's a bit unfamiliar.  And a part of me just wants to stay home where it's familiar and comforting.

On the plane out here, I finalized the website for my book.  If all went as planned, I'd be handing my sell sheet to agents and publishers.  Since the sell sheet mentioned the book's website and e-mail address, I figured it needed to go up.  So, before I went out the door, I uploaded the website.  Geez.  Was that ever scary.  Now, people could actually find me on the web - and read about my book - and even read the first chapter.  Can I get another GEEZ?

My first event was the Writer's Workshop on Wednesday, hosted by Writer's Digest.  Oh, my God!  This was incredible.  As someone who teaches writing, it was both inspirational and affirming to be in the student's seat.  Some of what these writers taught, I practice and, in turn, teach to my students and clients. (Yay for me.)  And then there's the stuff I didn't know or hadn't thought of or hadn't been exposed to.  We're always learning, no matter what our craft.   

I took two workshops by James Scott Bell (whom, I'm sorry to say, I had never heard of before).  He was fantastic, and he really broke fiction writing down into a process (which is good for those who think that way).  He's written two books for the Writer's Digest Write Great Fiction series, and I stood in line between seminars to get his books signed.  His Revision and Self-Editing had just come out, and he told me that my copy was the first one he signed of that book.  He took a moment to let that soak in.  It's pretty cool to see an author who's published over fifteen books to still be touched by signing a book.

As I walked around the L.A. Convention Center (which is freaking huge and must be the largest building I've ever been in), I was amazed at the amount of work it takes to set up a tradeshow of this size.  Workers were putting together wooden bookshelves--wooden bookshelves, people!  Not plastic racks or temporary looking things.  Seminar rooms were transformed into mini bookstores.  The banners for upcoming books lined the rafters.  It's truly an amazing place.  And that's just the prep I saw on Wednesday.  I can't imagine what it will look like tomorrow.

I pitched my book to five agents.  Can we have another Oh, my God! please?  As busy as I had been preparing for this trip, I hadn't looked closely at the agenda for the Writer's Workshop.  As I reviewed the materials that morning, I saw the workshop ended with a pitch slam session in which writers would have three minutes to pitch their book/idea to an agent.  Deep breath.  As I went through the workshops and thought about the pitch slam session later that day, I told myself that I didn't have to do it if I didn't want to.  I could just go back to my hotel.  Just knowing that--that I don't have to do anything I don't want to do--was comforting.  Another deep breath.  But if I went home, knowing that I had had this opportunity to talk to agents AND DIDN'T, I'd always regret it.  So I did it.  (Aren't conversations with ourselves wonderful?)  I talked to five agents, three of whom who said they were interested and to submit to them the final, polished manuscript when I was ready.  Two weren't interested, but gave me good feedback.

Today was a planning, coaching, and educational session put on by AuthorSmart.  Signing up to come to BEA through AuthorSmart was the smartest thing I ever did.  First of all, I have a built-in support group.  Not only are the other women here absolutely fantastic, but AuthorSmart brought with them a panel of experts who will be around all BEA to support us and answer our questions.  Secondly, they're coaching me on how to best pitch my book.  (Which might have been helpful YESTERDAY.)  Finally, they're handling important details like transportation and picking up our registration badges so that we don't have to stand in line.  I'm happy to not have to think of such things right now.

As I said before, I've met some women with whom I've already forged strong bonds.  I know that we'll be connected even after BEA is over.  It's an amazing experience to put yourself out there, be vulnerable, and have other people accept you and even applaud you.  And they don't even really know you.  Yet. 

Lastly, tonight, at least, there's no wonkiness to be found.  I feel so loved, supported, protected, and wrapped up in love that I feel I could do anything.   I've cried a few times, and felt scared a lot of times.  But through it all, I feel an overflowing of love.  The notes, texts, voice mail, e-mail, Groove messages, calls from my loved ones are just amazing.  People are rooting for me.  Here's what Stacy said to me in the accompanying note with a lovely bouquet of flowers that were waiting for me in my hotel room:

Enjoy yourself.  Remember to breathe.  Remember who you are and that you rock!  Every single person there who meets you will be so entirely lucky.  I love you and am proud of you.

 

Comments

[Cindy Hillsey]

Dawn,

I am so happy for you! Knowing what a scary experience this could be, you've done it anyway. That takes courage. And you have courage. Enjoy the rest of the seminar. You rock!

hugs,