Done

Yesterday I finished the first draft of my novel. 

What happened when I finished?  Well, first, I typed "The End." Cheesy, I know, but I did it anyway.

After?

I felt dead inside.  The process of writing this novel has been wonderful and terrifying at the same time, and it all caught up with me yesterday.

I remember talking with Beth a couple of years ago about wanting to create something beautiful.  She asked what that would be.  Having just bought the Abounding River Game, I was mesmerized by the vibrant colors and the overall beauty of it. I wanted to have that kind of impact.  Something physical, something someone could hold in her hands, was what I envisioned.   My first thought was a card deck, and then I said, very quietly, "I've always wanted to write a book." 

Beth pounced and said, "I can see that!"

"Oh, but that idea terrifies me.  Let's just focus on the card deck."

But noooooo.  Beth heard the terror and said that was the place to go.  Sigh.  So she assigned me some work developing characters.  I didn't have to write, per se, just interview one of my characters.  That I could do.

Some time passed, and somehow, I decided to commit to writing this novel.  It's a story that's been inside me and must come out, and I won't be able to write anything else until it's out.

And now it's out, at least in rough, first draft form.

And I feel dead.

In some part because I'm scared of the next step.  As I've said before, editing feels huge.  And there are parts of this novel I don't want to read.  (When you read it, you'll understand.)  Another part because this has been such a personal experience for me, both what I'm writing about and the fact that I JUST WROTE A NOVEL!  Hell yeah!

Doesn't sound dead, does it?

Well, today is better.  I'm also not touching my novel.  :)  I've allowed myself some space.  If needed, I have until June to start editing.  Three months should be plenty of time to create distance so that some of those passages I wrote won't haunt me as much.  From just a general writing and editing standpoint, the time away will help me see inconsistencies and weaknesses that I just wouldn't be able to see now.

So, I'm done, I'm not thinking about it until I want to (or until June 1), and I am psyched that I have a first draft of a manuscript.  Dead may be not so dead after all. 

Comments

[Cindy Hillsey]

Dawn,

I am so happy for you. What an accomplishment. Wow! I can't wait to read your novel.

You rock! :)

hugs,
cindy

[Word Lily]

That's so exciting! I only wish I was nearly that far on a book of my own. :) (I just finished editing a book, though.)

[Antonette]

Dawn, You are my hero and inspiration!