Write Well Me

Happy Birthday, AssistU!

Today, we'll be celebrating AssistU's tenth birthday.  Ten years ago last February, Stacy Brice officially founded the company that today is known as the premier training and referring organization for virtual assistants.  Many moons ago, without an inkling of who Stacy was or the innovative program she had created from the ground up, I went through the AssistU VTP.  I got my first client the day after I graduated, and I had a very successful VA practice.  Five years after that, I closed my VA practice and went on to begin Write Well U.

I credit where I am today professionally, and much of what I've become personally, to AssistU and what Stacy created.   The VTP teaches many things:  self-confidence, attraction, ethics, standards, boundaries, along with the practical nature of setting up a VA business.  Everything I learned there, I've incorporated into my new company.

Personally, I've grown.  I'm stronger, more self-confident, full of moxie.  Stacy and I have become best friends, and the relationship we share is closer, more intense than any other friendship I've ever experienced.

So today, we'll be celebrating the fact that AssistU has been in the world for ten years.  I'll be celebrating the fact that because of AssistU and Stacy Brice, my life is richer, fuller, more dynamic, exciting, and dream-following than I could have ever imagined.

Thank you, Stacy.  Congratulations to this wonderful thing you've created.  I love you.

Those Darn Contentious Kids!

Last week Anastasia came home with this note from her third grade teacher:

Just a quick note to let you know we have been working very hard and were able to successfully take our spelling test today.  We will be starting a new spelling pattern on Monday and will be taking our first MAP-R test.  I will share the results with you during your conference.  Everyone has been very contentious in returning their homework on time and reading their 20 minutes every night.

Thank you for your help, in establishing some very important routines.  The habits they are developing now, will make a difference in their success.

Have a wonderful weekend and enjoy some time with your family.

While I understand that not everyone writes with perfect grammar and punctuation, more care should be taken to make sure that the right words are used.

I know she meant "conscientious" instead of "contentious," but she couldn't have chosen a word more contradictory in meaning than "contentious." 

It gave us an opportunity to explain to Anastasia what it meant, though.  Other than it being used incorrectly, it's a great word!

What Dawn Is Reading Today - 9/26/07

If you're new to Write Well Me, read this to understand why I tell you what I'm reading.  :)

I finished The Mystery of the Witches' Bridge pretty quickly - about two days' time.  It was nice to be drawn to a book again.  I don't think I'll be finishing Snow White, Blood Red any time soon.

I mentioned that The Mystery of the Witches' Bridge was a book I remember from childhood.  It's one of those experiences that touched me on a deep level.  Every now and then I'd find myself thinking of bits and pieces from that book (the handyman singing "Danny Boy," Dan befriending twins, something about a portrait).  Even though the images weren't crystal clear, they were still there.

Actually reading it again... Those images are now crystal clear, and I have even more.  Better yet, the book is mine again, and I can go back to it any time I want.

All right.  So now what?  Hard to find something to compare to that.  The best I could do was The Old Wine Shades.  It's another Martha Grimes book, and it's comfortable and familiar, a bit like revisiting my childhood memories of a book.

Anne the Great Gets the Book!

After I posted last week about the free book, Anne commented right away, and she gets it!

I'm so glad that I'm not the only one who likes children's literature.

(The best thing is that Anne doesn't even have to reimburse me for postage.  I'll get to see her - and meet her in person - this weekend when she comes to celebrate AssistU's tenth birthday party.  How cool!  I can't wait to meet you, Anne!)

National Punctuation Day, September 24

For those of you who seethe over the misuse of commas, colons, semicolons, quotation marks, and the like, we have a day for you!  Today, September 24, is National Punctuation Day! 

Even if you don't seethe, check out the site for correct usage information, some fun thoughts ("Think an ellipsis is when the moon moves in front of the sun?"), and some cool products.  My favorite is the t-shirt that asks, "Is there a hyphen in anal-retentive?"

You, too, could be a punctuation geek!

What Dawn Is Reading Today - 9/20/07 - and a free book!

If you're new to Write Well Me, read this to understand why I tell you what I'm reading.  :-)

I just can't make myself read any more of Snow White, Blood Red.  I'm not sure exactly what my problem is.  I've never been a huge fan of short stories, but I've enjoyed a few collections.  Now that I think about it, though, the collections of short stories have all been by one author.  Snow White, Blood Red has stories by all different authors.  I've found that when I finish one story, I feel some trepidation moving on to the next.  I've just gotten used to one author's style (and story, characters, setting - the whole reason why I usually stay away from short stories - I want to invest more, and short stories cut that off abruptly), and now I have to go on to another's?  Plus, most of the stories have been dark, and I'm a little tired of the darkness.  (Yeah, yeah, I know that I said I was looking forward to reading them precisely because they weren't the Disneyfied versions, but enough is enough!)

So I had to stop reading, and now I may not go back.  :) 

I saved myself with a book I've just rediscovered.  I've been searching for this book that I read back in middle school, but I couldn't find it.  I even brought in the help of my local librarians.  All I had was a character's name (could be Dan - I could remember the hired man singing "Danny Boy."  Makes sense that the kid's name would be Dan or Daniel), a possible setting (moors or marshes maybe), an uncle who was aloof, and some mystery.  That's it.  My friendly librarian sent out a call for help to her entire network of fellow librarians to see if anyone could remember the book.  For a while, no luck, but then I remembered the uncle's name, Julian.  I did a search myself, and I found the book! Dawn rocks!

Unfortunately, it's out of print, but I was able to find some used copies on Amazon Marketplace.  Here's where the free book comes in (because Dawn is dumb and no longer rocks).  I order the book on Amazon Marketplace.  I get a hard cover edition because it's a decent price, and the other soft covers sound as if they're not in great condition.  A few days go by.  Really, though, it felt like weeks.  I found myself sitting at my computer wondering if I had even ordered the book.  I wanted to read it so badly! I went into my Amazon account and couldn't find any notice of the transaction in recently ordered items.  I looked through my email to see a confirmation.  Didn't find anything.

I go back to Amazon to buy the book, and I see one in soft cover, and I order it.   Don't you know - that day, THAT DAY, I receive the hard cover in the mail.  I did order it.  Sigh.  I go back to the second seller (I've just ordered it maybe two hours ago), and tell him that I was an idiot and already ordered it and please cancel my order. 

Two days later, I get the soft cover.  Sigh again.  I open it, and THIS is the cover I remember.  I check my email, and the second seller responded, saying not to open the package and just send it back as is.  (Are you sensing that I'm just not very organized when it comes to my Amazon stuff?)

So here I am with two books.  I could send the first one back (as I really like the second cover better), but that feels like too much trouble.  Here's what I'd like to offer to you:  I'd be happy to send the book to you, free of charge (just please reimburse me for shipping), and you can have it.  If a bunch of people are interested, perhaps we can create a round robin of book reading!

Here's the book:  The Mystery of the Witches' Bridge by Barbee Oliver Carleton.  It follows the story of a young orphan boy (Dan!!!) who goes to live with his reserved, and somewhat cold, Uncle Julian.  Dan gets embroiled in the centuries-old conflict between his family and another local family, the most recent battle involving a death, a lost briefcase, and a betrayal.  For his own happiness, Dan must solve the mystery!  (I, too, could write for Amazon - well, maybe not - I haven't proved myself very Amazon-trustworthy.)

First come, first serve - first comment saying you want the book gets you the book.  As I said, if more than one of you is interested, maybe person #1 will be kind enough to send to person #2 and so on.  :)

A Writing Project - Anyone Interested?

I'm reading How to Write Science Fiction & Fantasy, and there are some great ideas in there, even for people who aren't specifically writing in those genres.  I read a section that brought to mind an idea I've had before.  Since the idea's come up again, I'm really taking a serious look at it.  Here goes:

What if there were a place where we could all collaborate on a writing project?  I imagine it would go something like this:  One person writes a paragraph.  Then, another person writes the next paragraph.  Then, another, and another, and another.  And so it goes.

It's a little like that memory game you might have played as a kid.  You're in the back seat with your sister, and you each alternate adding words to see who can recite it perfectly the longest. 

Now, with my idea, there's no memorization; it's open-book.  However, there would have to be rules.  We'd all have to agree on what to write (are these concepts or full stories?).  We'd have to decide how much each person would write at a time (one sentence, one paragraph, or number of words).  We'd have to decide how we would take turns.  I'm sure there are other rules to figure out.

A blog format would work, although a Wiki platform would probably be even better (but that would take some research and learning on my part).

Any takers?

For those who are interested, here's the passage in How to Write Science Fiction & Fantasy that reminded me of this idea.  Card takes one incident/idea and develops it into something deeper.

When you ask, "Why did John slap Mary across the face?" I can answer with either the first cause, "Because she slapped him," or the final cause, "In order to show her who was boss."  Both might be true at the same time.  The first cause is like dominoes:  Domino B fell over because Domino A fell over first and pushed it.  The final cause deals with purpose, with intent:  Someone performs an action in order to bring about some desired result.

Both causes are acting on characters in stories all the time, and you must know answers to both kinds of "why" before you understand your characters.

In fact, to write stories that are any good at all, you have to realize that there is never just one answer to any of these questions.  Every event has more than one cause and more than one result.  When John slapped Mary, not only did she act more timidly around him, but also she resented him and constantly worked to find ways to make him suffer for having hit her.

Furthermore, John himself never realized that he was the kind of man who slapped women.  Even though he excused himself by telling himself that after all, she slapped him first, it still gnawed at him that he had hit her; he felt guilty and tried to make it up to her.

Even that is too easy.  Consciously, John feels guilty.  Unconsciously, he's rather proud of it.  He had never hit anyone in his life till now, and at the moment he struck Mary, he felt a sense of raw power that he had never felt.  It made him a bit more belligerent, made him strut a little in his dealings with others.  In fact, the unconscious psychological pay-off was strong enough that he will seek, without knowing it, excuses to slap and hit and push more people.  Especially Mary.

And Mary's resentment and subtle rebellion are also not complicated enough to be a fair representation of reality.  Perhaps it gradually dawns on her that John is becoming even more domineering--her only way out is to leave him.  So she leaves, taking the children with her, and he, feeling completely unmanned by this, begins to follow her.  He tells himself that he's trying to find her in order to make up to her and help take care of the children; even if she doesn't want him back, he has a right to see his kids.  But unconsciously, he's following her in order to beat her up again, maybe kill her--then, she'll know who's boss.

Or perhaps Mary's unconscious reaction is completely different.  Maybe she was raised by a strong father or mother who slapped the family around.  Maybe she unconsciously wanted John to act out this physically domineering role, and it wasn't until she slapped him herself that he actually did what she wanted.  So her subtle vengeances for his violence are really provocations.  She stays with him, unconsciously hoping to continue provoking him into violence so she can fear and admire him the way she feared and admired her battering parent.  Her unconscious strategy is completely successful; John finds himself hitting her more and more often.  But he can't bear to be the person she is turning him into--he leaves her.

Or maybe they stay together and raise another generation just like them.

Or maybe there are still more results--and more hidden causes and motives--that will change the shape of the story.  I hope you see, though, that with every variation, every new layer of cause and effect, the characters--and the story--become richer, deeper, more complex, and potentially more truthful and insightful.

See how you can take one idea and develop it and then take it further?  That's what I'm wondering if we can create together.  As Card says, "I like to think the difference between storytellers and non-storytellers is that we storytellers, like fishermen, are constantly dragging an 'idea net' along with us.  Other people pass through their lives and never notice how many stories are going on all around them; we, however, think of anything as a potential story."  Anyone wanna fish with me?

Yet Another Time Management Strategy

With being Chief Operating Officer of AssistU and founder and creator (and trainer and marketer and pr rep) for Write Well U, I have a few things going on.  I'm always looking at ways to better organize my time, especially when my desk is bowed under the weight of post-it notes and scraps of paper.  My newest strategy comes courtesy of the combined brain power of yours truly and Stacy.  :)

One day I was feeling particularly overwhelmed by all I had to do.  Stacy and I came up with a very visual time management system:  a huge paper calendar and color-coordinated post-it notes for all the tasks I had.  Color codes for each category in my life, post-it notes so that I could move it from day to day if needed, and a large paper calendar so I could see it.

I know people use Outlook's calendar and tasks to do this very thing, and I use those tools, too.  Outlook is where I keep my calendar of appointments and places Dawn needs to be.  It has to be electronic so that my assistants can access it and so I can synch it with my PDA.  I use Outlook tasks to remind me of recurring weekly and monthly activities. 

Why don't I just expand the way I'm using Outlook?  Because I don't want to be logged into Outlook, or my computer for that matter, at all times.  I want to be able to glance at the calendar and see what I have to do.

So with a plan in mind, Stacy and I made a trip to Office Depot and bought supplies.  I bought the perfect calendar, a pack of color-coded post-it notes, and colored markers.  I had so much fun filling out my filling out my calendar that first month.

Several months of using this strategy, I still look forward to doing my calendar planning each month.  (I get that I'm weird.)

Here's how it works:

• I fill in all my appointments for the month that I'm aware of
• I add in any monthly or weekly to-do items
• I make a post-it note for each task I have to do.  One post-it note for each task. 
• I look at my days and how busy I am to determine what makes sense for me to get done.  If I have calls and appointments from 9:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m., you can bet that there won't be any sticky notes on that day.
• Each day I take that day's post-it notes and put them on the side of my computer monitor.  Each time I complete a task, I throw the post-it note away (actually, I recycle it, but that's another post). 

Why this works for me:

• I'm able to look ahead (Oh, we'll be going out of town - I shouldn't do anything extra the day we're leaving) and plan smartly.
• I can move tasks from one day to another.
• I can make sure I don't overcommit myself.  If all the post-it notes don't fit in one day's space on the calendar, that's a pretty big clue that I'm trying to do too much.

I still use the white board, although I'm not sure why.  Sometimes it includes the very same tasks that are on the post-it notes, and sometimes it has stuff that hasn't made it on a post-it note.  Hey, it's not perfect or scientific, but if it works for me, then I'll do anything!

Author's Note:  You may have noticed that this isn't the first or second (or even third) post I've done on time management issues.  One would think I could create a "time management" category.  For some reason, I'm very resistant to that idea.  Maybe it's because I don't want time management to be a big issue in my life (yet sometimes it is).  Any thoughts from the peanut gallery?

Write Well U in the News!

I did all the right things (or, rather, I'm doing all the right things):  I've let friends, family, and colleagues know about Write Well U.  I've made connections with organizations whose members get value out of becoming stronger writers.  I'm writing articles to put out in the world.  I'm designing short workshops to introduce people to my material and my teaching style.  I'm networking.  I've written press releases to let the world know I exist.

It's that last that has gotten me in the news.

(And this is actually pretty funny because just last week, Stacy was saying, "What you need is media attention.  THAT's what's going to get you noticed."  Uh huh.  I agree wholeheartedly!)

So last week I get a call from a reporter from the Washington Times.  He saw my press release, and he does a weekly column on unusual businesses.  Now, I don't necessarily think I have an unusual business, but maybe that's because I've been in the virtual world so long that giving classes virtually doesn't seem weird at all.

Anyway, he calls out of the blue, he writes his article, and it appears in the Washington Times TODAY!!!

For those of you who care, you can find it here.

Sidenote:  It was very strange to be referred to all throughout the article as Mrs. Goldberg.  You can call me Dawn. 

Great Writing Idea

Heather pointed us to the Lightning Bug writing website.  One of their ideas (and the one that Heather used for her Freaky Friday writing prompt) was to write a story from your own mirrored perspective (the perspective of your reflection).

I love this idea.  There are so many things you could do with it.  What does your reflection think about the time you spend in front of the mirror?  Are you an eyebrow plucker (like me)?  What does your reflection think about that?  Is your reflection as critical of you as you are?  Or more?  Does your reflection only live in the mirror, or does it travel to and from the various mirrors in the house, much like the portraits in the Harry Potter books?  What's it like being a mirror image where right is left and left is right?

I'm sure there's a lot more I (and you) could do with this idea.

One reason it really impacted me was earlier this summer my younger daughter Anastasia (eight years old, mind you) had come up with an idea for a story that revolved around one's reflection.  Once there was a little girl who grew up not knowing the difference between mirrors and windows.  When she looked out the window of her bedroom, she thought it was a mirror.  She thought that she was actually nature, by turns a tree, or a butterfly, or a squirrel, or a cloud.

I was thunderstruck.  That's quite a concept, and a creative idea, from an eight-year-old.  I asked what any adoring mother/author would.  "Can I use that idea someday for my own story?"

She was gracious enough to say yes.

What can you do with your reflection?

Work or Play First?

When it comes to work and play, most of my life I've always worked first and played afterward.  For someone who's a bit anal and perfectionist, I haven't always played as much as I would have liked to.  Last year, my coach challenged me to play BEFORE I worked. 

It's still hard for me to do that.

If I have a to-do list, clutter on the counter, an unmade bed, dishes in the sink, I'm distracted by those things.  It's not very relaxing for me to sit and cross-stitch when I can see Anastasia's socks, Kathryn's book, and Chris's shoes strewn about the room.  My eyes keep straying to those things until I put down my cross-stitch and go put them away.

My one victory over work/play first is Tuesday.  I don't work on Tuesdays, and I get to write.  Now that's had its own challenges, but writing is my first priority, not those smaller, petty tasks. 

This issue came up for me again last weekend.  On Labor Day, we didn't have any plans, but we hadn't done laundry since what seemed like last Labor Day.  After breakfast, we planned our day, and laundry topped the list.  I immediately thought about playing first.  Wouldn't that be nice?  Yes, but maybe not practical.  Since we had loads and loads of laundry ahead of us, it made sense that we get that started right away.  Get a load in the washing machine, do a few other tasks in the kitchen until that load was ready to be switched to the dryer.  Repeat. 

Of course, playing didn't really happen until all the laundry was done, oh, about 9:30 that night.  (We did watch Invincible while we were folding laundry, so it wasn't all toil.)

I really do want to play first and work second. 

Here are my playthings:

• read
• quilt
• cross-stitch
• watch movies
• play Settlers of Catan
• shop

Here are my two questions for you:  1.  Do you ever play before work (meaning, you have concrete work to do, and you choose to play first)?  2.  What's "play" for you?

Parts of Movies I Can't Watch

We're getting ready for football season here at this Philadelphia Eagles household, and, logically enough, we chose to watch Invincible.  I love this movie; it's one of those great feel-good movies with a people theme.  However, there's one part in it that I just can't watch.  I have to close my eyes or turn away.  Not because there's something violent or heinous going on.  It's just that I've identified so much with the lead character that I can't stand to watch bad things happen to him.

This particular scene is the first regular season game with Vince Papale as the amateur football player who won his spot on the team through open tryouts.  The Eagles play the Cowboys in Texas Stadium, and the Eagles lose.  Vince does pretty horribly, and Coach Vermeil reprimands him.  I hate watching that part.  I know Vince is trying his heart out  and doing his best. 

Other two films with scenes I can't watch:

• The Longest Yard - Paul Crewe agrees to lose the football game (yes, I sense the football theme too) to the guards in return for the guards to lay off the prison inmates.  The warden goes back on his word and tells his guards to inflict as much pain as humanly possible on the inmates.  I hate watching Crewe deliberately miss passes and make mistakes and his teammates getting mad at him.  It's so bad that I thought about watching that movie the other night and chose not to because of that part.  If that part wasn't in there... Of course, if it wasn't, the whole point of the film would be lost. 
• Revenge of the Sith - My whole family has a hard time watching Aniken's final journey from Jedi Knight to Sith Lord.  We figure it might turn out differently each time we watch it.  Somehow it doesn't.  Aniken still attacks Mace Windu when he's about to defeat the Chancellor, and Aniken still kills the younglings. 

Based on the criteria (it's not due to violence but more because you've identified with the characters so deeply that you can't stand to watch their stumblings, mistakes, or misdeeds), what scenes in what movies can you not watch?

So What If I'm Weary?

As I thought about my words of the day from Friday, I tried to think of what those three words (weary, quiet, and savor) really meant and their impact.  I've been working hard on Write Well U, and all those words are a result.  It's not as if I've been working 14 hours a day; it's just that everything I see, hear, and do are strained through a Write Well U filter.  Can I use that?  Oh, that's an interesting idea; how can I use that for Write Well U?  And so on.

So, yes, I'm weary. I'm tired of finishing one task and moving right on to the other.  That's where "savor" comes in.  I want to savor the things I'm doing.  I like almost every facet of owning a company as cool and dynamic as Write Well U.  I just want to enjoy it more.

As far as "quiet," I think that's related to "weary."  I want my brain to quiet down.  I don't want to be "on" all the time.  I don't want to be thinking all the time.  I shared with Chris some marketing advice that Laura gave me on Friday.  Chris says, "Oooh, I know you're tired of thinking of marketing, but can I just say something about what Laura told you?!"

I told him no.  :)  I wanted quiet.

It doesn't bother me that Friday's theme words were these.  I don't have a problem that "weary" was defining my life for a few days.  I don't even feel as if I have to "do" something about it.  (Uh oh, Dawn.  You're weary.  What are you going to do about that?  Nothing.)

It was what it was.  It informed me.  Maybe I need to make changes, and maybe I just need to roll with it and be.  Maybe tomorrow's word of the day will be "weary," too.  Shrug.  So be it.  At some point it won't be.