Write Well Me

Pride and Prejudice

I haven't mentioned it in a while, so I figure I'm due.

This version is the only version worth seeing.  The recent Keira Knightley movie is too short and leaves out too much to make sense.  Leave it and watch the BBC miniseries.  Even if you don't want to watch the whole thing (it is five hours long, but five hours that are so worth watching), you can browse clips from the movie and even go behind the scenes.  Lovely!

Words To Live My Life By

I keep a list of my favorite quotations.  (I'm sure you're asking, "What doesn't she keep a list of?"  I don't know that there is any answer to that question.)  These are words spoken by famous people, friendly people, and even from the recesses of my own brain.

May they inspire, motivate, and touch you as well.

When you take away your energy, you're gone...even if you stay. ~ Stacy Brice

Slow is fast. ~ Laura Howard

Do less. If you don't do so much or push so hard, burnout shouldn't be an issue.

and

As you use great systems and tech to make you more productive and efficient, don't fill up the time you reclaim with anything work-related. Fill it with your personal life…with things that nurture you. ~ Stacy Brice, from Virtual Moxie

Maybe it's not the story I'm writing, but the writing itself that is important. ~ Me

I have consistently won in business because in every business I've been in, I've changed the rules of the game to favor my strengths so I would gain a competitive advantage. ~ Richard Schefren

Only start businesses where either the core skill needed to win is a strength of yours, or where you can disrupt the entire competitive landscape because your strengths will give your business a powerful advantage. ~ Richard Schefren

The secret to living the life of your dreams is to START, living the life of your dreams, AT ONCE, to ANY degree that you can. - Notes from the Universe

We must walk consciously only part way toward our goal, and then leap in the dark to our success. ~ Henry David Thoreau.

The mind calculates, and the spirit yearns.  But the heart knows what it knows.  Stephen King, Cell

When you come to the edge of all the light you have, and must take a step into the darkness of the unknown, either there will be something solid for you to stand on, or, you will FLY... ~ Patrick Overton

Everyone has a talent. What is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads. ~ Erica Jong

Those who have been required to memorize the world as it is will never create the world as it might be. ~ Stella Marrs

I believe I'm here to speak my truth and that's all I have to do.
I don't have to make people understand it...
I just have to speak the truth.
~ Anne Wilson Schaef

Many people walk in and out of your life but only true friends will leave footprints on your heart. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

Eyes - Part Too Many To Keep Count

Today I'm having my second surgery to correct my exotropia.  The first was last August and met with less than successful results.  I've come a long way from feeling depressed about my eyes, although it's still a big deal.  I'm just not down in the dumps about it.  I've also made huge strides in hating (abhorring, detesting, despising, loathing - pick a word) the idea of eye surgery. 

While I may not be caught up in the whole "No!!!  I do not want to have eye surgery!" I do have to say that I'm nervous about recovery.  Last time, recovery went well at first, and then raced downhill.  Life was hard, and my life before today is not what I want it to be.  I restrict my driving activities during the day, and I absolutely don't drive at night.  My eyes hurt at the end of almost every day, and there are times that I can't do anything that uses my eyes (and ladies and gentlemen, that doesn't leave much).  Shopping is a horror.  With my double vision, concentrating with my eyes strains me so much that by the end of a trip to the grocery store, I'm done in and in tears. 

So on to surgery.  Dr. Guyton tells me that he gives this surgery an 85-90% chance of success.  I asked him what my chance of success was for my first surgery, and he said the same, 85-90%.  I just happened to be in the lucky, rare 10% of non-success.  "So," I asked, "how does the fact that I was in the 10% of non-success before affect my rate of success for this surgery?" 

"It doesn't it affect it at all.  It's the same rate of success" was the reply.

Okay, we'll see.  Literally.

By the way, I was really hoping for 95% success rate.  I guess it says something about Dr. Guyton that he didn't just say, "Okay, it's 95%" to make me feel better.

He's going to move only one muscle of my inner eye (the first surgery involved moving the outer muscles of both eyes), and he's going to move it to exact center.  When I wake up after the surgery, I should be able to see perfectly, with single vision.  If so, it will be the first time in six months.

My goal is to take it easy.  I'm taking two weeks off from duties at AssistU and Write Well U to rest my eyes.  Dr. Guyton tells me that other than taking a bath, I can do anything.  "Anything?" I asked.  "Anything using my eyes?"

He says that I can.  Okay, we'll see.

I'm hoping that he's right, and my vision is perfect (except for the slight near-sightedness I have).  I'll be able to use my eyes immediately, and life just a few days after my surgery will be highly improved over the last six months.

We'll see.

How does this affect you?  Never fear, dear readers.  You won't be without Write Well Me.  I have oh so many ideas, and I've written several entries to be published in the next week or two.  Ah, the power of the Typepad blogging platform.  Hopefully, before we know it, I'll be back writing live.

We'll see.

Relationships

The other day I was driving, and I saw one of those vehicles with a number painted on the back.  I was at a red light, I was feeling a bit museful, and so I played around with memorizing the number.

Now I'm not one of those people who memorizes things (although I can still do a few stanzas from Chaucer's Prologue to Canterbury Tales and several lines from Frost's "The Road Not Taken").  I do know, however, that to memorize something, you have a better chance of success if you can relate the thing you're trying to memorize to something familiar.

I've never tried this, but, as I said, I was feeling a bit whimsical, so I gave it a shot.

The numbers on the back of the truck were 3922101.

First, I broke it up into sections:  39  -  22  -  101.

Then, the first thing that occurred to me was that 39 was 1 less than 40.  Okay, easy enough.  On to 22.  It's 1 more than 21.  Then, I got to 101, and it was a piece of cake with 1's all over the place.  I was thinking in terms of ages (39 is almost the dreaded 40; 22 is 1 past the coveted 21; and 101 is one heck of an age to reach). 

I figured it was easy enough to remember (and days later, I still do remember the whole number), but I quickly turned from the actual remembering to the relationship of the numbers and the familiar things to which I created the relationship.  I created those relationships out of the blue, but once I did, the relationships were there to stay.

It occurred to me that not only did I use the same theme, ages, to create my relationship, but each relationship centered around the number 1.  Weird, but cool. 

This leads me to wonder - what relationships can we create out of nothingness?

More Encouragement from The Universe

Because I'm a dork, geek, and still somewhat anal-retentive, I keep the most meaningful Notes from the Universe in an email folder called Dawn's Motivation.

This folder contains motivation e-mails, mostly Notes from the Universe and some from Weekly Challengers, with the idea that when I'm feeling low, I can spend some time looking through the items.  I haven't really had the need to review Dawn's Motivation contents, but there was particular Note that I kept because it is so appropriate and so, well, necessary for Dawn to remember.

You really don't have to try so hard, Dawn.

That's why there's magic and miracles.

Remember?

Tallyho,
The Universe

'Nuff said.

Words

I love Mike Dooley's Notes from the Universe, daily emails with humorous little tidbits of wisdom, joy, and laughter to help remind us of life's everyday magic; I've been hearing about Notes in many places, yet I'm not annoyed; I can't exactly say why; I'm just not.

Maybe one reason is that it's not as big a deal as The Secret.  Maybe another reason is that you create an account so the emails are personal.  I like that.  Finally, maybe it's just a heck of a lot easier to sign up for a daily email than to spend two minutes to buy the damn DVD of The Secret.

Here's one of the reasons why I love my Notes from the Universe:

When it comes to the words you choose, Dawn, whether in your mind or amongst friends, let them be of what you like and love. What you care about and cherish. What makes you happy. What gives you wings. What makes you dream.

And very little else.

The Universe

Seems pretty appropriate for me, doesn't it?

(By the way, Mike Dooley is featured on The Secret.  Sigh.  More annoyances or simply messages from the Universe?)

Let's Keep It a Secret a Little While Longer

I KNOW The Secret is all the rage now.  I first heard about it from my coach early last year.  Then, some writers on The Virtual Wire started talking about it.  Then, my former VA mentioned she had a copy.  Finally, one of my closest friends said she had it and loved it.

I've been interested in The Secret, but I have to admit I'm getting a little tired of it.  It's everywhere.  The last straw was when Laura said that the makers of The Secret were on Oprah recently. 

Sigh.

That's it.  Now it will be everywhere.  There will be no escaping it.

It's not that I don't think it's a good thing; I still want to watch the movie and/or get the book.  But I am sick of hearing about it!

It's like when Jurassic Park came out in '93 (yes, it's been that long).  There were so many good reviews, people were going to the theaters and seeing it two and three and four times, and it was in theaters for what seemed like 274 days.  Chris finally dragged me to see it at the dollar theater (do they even have those anymore?).

And? 

I loved it!  I still do.  So, I know that just because something's popular doesn't mean that I won't like it.  I'm just not a big crowd follower.

So, I will see it as I'm a big believer in attraction and abundance.  I just want to do it on my own terms.  Maybe even in secret.

(Footnote:  the irony is not lost on me that I'm annoyed by people talking about The Secret, and here I am talking about it.  :)  It's a bit hard to talk about what one is annoyed about without talking about the actual thing with which one is annoyed.)

Friday Night Update:  after writing this blog post, I had a massage appointment.  Not one hour after I've written this post does my massage therapist say, "Hey, have you heard about this new movie..."

Sigh.  "The Secret?"

"Yeah!  How did you guess?  Why are you laughing?"

What's Your Accent?

Vicky pointed me to What American Accent Do You Have quiz, and it was fun to take (and short - 13 questions).  Since I recently talked about the frailties of pronunciation, it was amusing to see the words the quiz asked me to differentiate.  Words like "Dawn" and "Don."  Now, I have to admit that I hear the difference between the two (I should considering I'm Dawn!), but I have to really work hard at saying "Don."  My mouth looks weird and my face contorts.  I look as if I'm in pain.

Then there's "pen" and "pin."  When I was growing up in Texas, there was NO difference between these two words, and I was made fun of for pronouncing "ten" (rhymes with "pen") with just one syllable as opposed to "tee-en."  No bitterness there, none at all.

My results? 

The Midland

"You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.

Interesting, because I spent the first part of my life moving all the heck over the place.  Here's the litany that my children have memorized:  I was born in Mississippi (in the back seat of a car, no less), moved to Virginia, moved to Pennsylvania, moved to Oregon, and then moved to Texas.  All this was by the time I was ten (or is that tee-en?).  I stayed in Texas for fourteen years, and I escaped (most) vestiges of an accent.

What's your accent?

Time Management - Will It Ever Go Away? Part II

Time management always has been and always shall be my friend.  (Sounds like a line from Star Trek:  Wrath of Khan.)  I still like my Outlook task pop-up on scheduling; it helps me keep all my priorities in order.  However, as I said before, I'm always tweaking and finding what works for me, and I take inspiration from many places.

Scott talks about using visual reminders to keep you motivated.  Now, I don't have much problem with motivation (not today anyway), but I expanded upon his idea of posting sticky notes everywhere to keep you motivated for writing down my priorities for the day.  See, I've always gotten caught up in "Here's my to do list or my inbox, and it all has to get done."  Sure, there are priorities, but, still, everything needs to get done, and it should get done - TODAY.

I know, logically (hmmm, maybe Star Trek has had more of an influence on my than I realize), that I can't get it all done, but without some system in place to remind me of that, I default back to "It all has to get done -TODAY."

So I took a page from Scott (or shall I say sticky note), and I decided to write down the most important things that I want to accomplish for the next day.  And, here's my proudest moment, it isn't just work and business stuff; I include personal things like cross-stitch or work-out.  I write them down on a white board, which is prominently displayed in my office.

I find that writing these things at the end of the day gets my head set for the next.  I wake up the next day already geared toward those things on my list, and there are no excuses for not doing something, especially the fun, personal, balance items.

Here are some things that have showed up on my list recently (beyond just the normal, ho-hum items):

• Just get through the day (this was a reminder to be gentle on myself during a particularly hectic day)
• Work out
• Write blog posts (you know it!)
• Relax
• Have some time to myself

This method is working nicely, and it will stick around as long as it's helpful.  Until I find the need to tweak my time management style yet again.

Caution! Icy Slopes Ahead! Danger of Slipping Standards.

Since I no longer have a VA practice, I don't have to work insane hours all the time, and my life is calmer than it used to be.   When I did have a VA practice, however, I had to create standards around when I was working and when I wasn't.  It was the only way for me to lead a balanced life that wasn't heavily outweighed by work.

After the frenzy of the past couple of months, I finally settled back into life with my work with AssistU and creating Write Well University.   A few days back into normal mode, I soon found that I was checking e-mail all the time, I'd answer my business phone even when I wasn't "at work," and I felt I could/should be on call at all times. 

As COO of AssistU, I devote anywhere between 20 and 40 hours a month to AssistU.  What that means is I allot a small amount of my overall time to AssistU.  Plus, I'm building a new company, and there's always stuff to do there.  Since I didn't feel that I was really "working" that much, I felt that I should always be available. 

There's so much wrong with that on so many levels.

First, I'm not always available.  I have set times that I'm working, whether that be with AssistU or Write Well University.  Whether I'm working two hours a day or eight hours a day, those times that I'm working should be clearly defined.

Second, by always coming in to my office to check e-mail, that in itself is a shadow activity.  I'm keeping myself from doing other things because it feels more comfortable and familiar to check e-mail or answer a business call then maybe do something else.  God forbid that I actually use my free time to read a (fun) book, quilt, cross-stitch, or play the piano.  For whatever reason, those things are harder to do, to get the energy to do, than to check e-mail.

Finally, when you spread out two hours of work over a twelve-hour day, it feels as if you're always working.  When things are segmented, you give more of your time and attention to that particular activity.  It shows your respect and your commitment.

I'm responsible for letting my standards slip.  I made the choice to come in to my office and check e-mail.  Danger!  Standards have slipped!

Luckily, I caught it fairly quickly (must be all the fabulous training from going through the AssistU VTP!) and made changes.  You know how I knew my standards were slipping?  One day I decided I shouldn't be checking my email all the time, and I - get this - turned OFF my computer.  Just the act of turning it off was hard to do.  The rest of that day, I found myself wanting to detour into my office onto the way to the bathroom, and then I'd remember that the computer was off.

So I've come up with a way to organize my time and prioritize my tasks (see tomorrow's post), I regularly turn off my computers, and I make a concerted effort to stick to my pre-defined work times (pre-defined on a daily basis as my life is not THAT structured - thank goodness).

Aaah, standards are once again safe.    

What's Wrong with "Dialogue"?

In yesterday's post, I used the word "dialogue."  Both my Firefox browser dictionary and TypePad's dictionary marked it as a misspelled word.

Here's what TypePad thought I wanted to say:

dialog
duologue
Decalogue
dialogs
dialog's
dislodge
deluge
ideologue

I was pretty darn sure it was right, but after it being marked as not a real word, twice, my confidence was shaken.  I looked it up in a real dictionary, and yep, there it was - d i a l o g u e.

It's not as if I used an uncommon word or a newfangled concoction like "googled" as a verb.  Am I just old fashioned, using "dialogue" instead of "dialog"? 

How do you spell it?  Please, let's open up a dialogue.  :)

Input Really Is One of My Strengths

As you know, one of my essential books is Now, Discover Your Strengths by Buckingham and Clifton (and if you didn't know, look over to the right to Dawn's Library, and you'll see the books that have made an impact on me).  It's a great book about finding your strengths and using them to your advantage, as opposed to concentrating on improving your weaknesses.  This book appeals to me as it concentrates on the positive and abundance and attraction, instead of what's lacking.  Who wouldn't want to celebrate her strengths and make them stronger?

If you buy the book, you get a code to take the Strengths Finder Profile, and the results show your five core strengths.  The idea is that these core strengths are so ingrained in you that you don't even think they're strengths; you think everyone must do things that particular way.

Here's an excerpt from Now, Discover Your Strengths:

"A few years ago Bruce B. won one of America's most prestigious awards for teachers. According to feedback from his peers, his students, and their parents, he was brilliant at creating a focused yet caring environment for learning. As part of Gallup's study of excellence, we interviewed him and then gave him feedback on his strengths. One of his strongest talents was Empathy, so we talked about to him about how powerful it was that he could pick up on the feelings of each student, that he could make each one feel heard and understood. We described how this theme enabled him to hear the unspoken questions, to anticipate each student's learning hurdles, and to tailor his teaching style so that together they could find a way around them. We painted as vivid a picture as we could of how he had cultivated this talent into a tremendous strength.

When we were done, Bruce sat there with a strange look on his face. He wasn't surprised. He wasn't intrigued. He didn't even seem particularly flattered. He was just confused.

"Doesn't everyone do that?" he asked.

As you can imagine, I was pretty excited to answer the questions and find out my strengths.  My five core strengths are:

• Input - A person with this as a core strength collects information and finds many things interesting.  The world is exciting because of its infinite variety and complexity
• Maximizer - Excellence, not average, is the measure for this person.  Transforming something strong into something superb is her passion.
• Individualization - This person is intrigued by the unique qualities of each person.  He instinctively observes each person's style, motivation, how each thinks, how each builds relationships, and choices each makes.  Because he is such a keen observer of people, he can draw out the best in each person.
• Strategic - She sees patterns where others see complexity.  She is mindful of patterns and plays out scenarios - "What if this happens?"  She discards paths that lead nowhere and culls and makes selections until she arrives at the chosen path.
• Empathy - He senses the emotions of the people around him.  He instinctively sees the world through their eyes and shares perspective.  He hears unvoiced questions and anticipates needs.

Four out of five of these strengths made perfect sense to me.  I was surprised Maximizer wasn't #1 on my list as that concept has led me all throughout my life, from being valedictorian of my high school to getting the highest score at that time (98%) on the AssistU final exam and STILL arguing about four questions that I felt were marked off incorrectly.

Yep, and Individualization fits right in, too.  I can remember thinking it would be fascinating to interview every person I met and asking him why he chose the particular job he did.  I'm always asking questions.  Stacy laughs at me before the words, "Can I ask you a question?" are even out of my mouth.

Strategic - oh, yeah, buddy!  I think my ability to strategize and see the big picture was what made me a great VA for my clients.  I could implement the little details, but I could also see products, services, and concepts that we hadn't developed yet.  That was fun!  And I still get to do that as COO of AssistU.

Empathy - one of the ways I describe myself is that Dawn IS emotion.  I have to process things emotionally before I can get to the logical solution.  I don't dissemble, and what you see is what you get.  If I'm happy, I can't contain myself, and you'd better watch out because it can be contagious.  If I'm unhappy or disappointed, I'll let you know that, too.  I've tried to keep it in, and it just doesn't work.  Dawn is emotion.

So that leaves Input, my #1 strength, according to the Strengths Finder Profile.  It actually never made sense to me.  I go around collecting information?  No, I don't.  I tried to visualize what a person with Input as her strength does.  Maybe it was that word "collect" that threw me off.  I imagined having a collection of information like some people have rock collections or sea shell collections. Nope, no collection in my house labeled "information."

I shrugged it away and didn't really come back to it until yesterday.  I had just received from Amazon one of the last twenty or so books I've ordered recently on writing.  Now, sure, I'm creating a writing program, so it makes sense to buy these books, but I haven't read nearly all of them.  I have books on writing in general, writing fiction, writing science fiction, writing beginnings, writing endings, writing middles, writing dialogue, style, grammar books coming out of my ears.... I've probably read maybe seven from first page to last.  That leaves, oh, I don't know, THIRTY or so unread.  So why did I buy them?  Because they looked great!  They cover information I just KNOW I'll need someday. 

Then it occurred to me that I really do collect information, and I have for as long as I can remember.  When I first started quilting, I subscribed to three (not one, not two, but three!) quilting magazines.  I just knew that each magazine offered something that I would need - someday.  I subscribed to all three for maybe a year or two before ending my subscription.  And I actually did read each and every one of them.  And marked the articles and quilting designs I liked.  And I hung onto each issue - for years.  Finally, in a cleaning fit, I decided to clean out.  I recycled all the magazines that didn't have sticky notes on them, and then I went through all the ones that did have those notes and reviewed.  If I still found the article helpful or the design pretty, I kept the magazine.  If I didn't find it helpful, in the recycling stack it went.

Input might also explain why when I get a magazine, any kind of magazine, I feel beholden to read every single article.  Because, well, I might need that information some day.  No matter that the information would probably never apply to me, I read it just - in - case.

It was something so ingrained in me, so natural, that I really didn't see it as a strength.  I do now.

Anybody have some information I can collect?
 

Even Sports Writers Have to Write Well

In preparation for yesterday's Super Bowl (congratulations Colts!), we watched the Eagles' Road to the Super Bowl series that Chris recorded during the Eagles' stellar season in 2004.  (Chris would like me to tell y'all that the Eagles will be in the Super Bowl next year.  Just so you know.  In case you want to get tickets early to Super Bowl XLII.)

That year, the Eagles won their first seven games, an Eagles team record, and they were on a roll.  That was, until they faced the Pittsburgh Steelers.  As we were watching, I was impressed with the writing.  Harry Kalas said, "To win #8, the Eagles would need to beat Pittsburgh's new #7, a wonder kid who's got the Steel City going gaga."  It just struck me as very well constructed.  I loved the parallelism of the #8 and the #7.

We spot with ease the bad writing or the heavily-constructed, overwritten sentence.  We take for granted the truly great writing - the writing that allows to read or hear something with absolute clarity in which we don't even notice the writing.  Even in football.

It's Feb-ROO-ary, Not Feb-YOO-ary - Part II

I started thinking after my post yesterday on how to say "February" that some people might think it's too hard to say that "br" combination. 

Then, I realized that brew pubs are all the rage lately with microbreweries popping up everywhere and Brewer's Alley a popular restaurant in Frederick, Maryland.  (Please note that my German friend can't say "Brewer's" to save her life.  It comes out like some 12-month-old's "bloooooooooooooooooeur.")

So grab a beer and start saying "February" the right way!

It's Feb-ROO-ary, Not Feb-YOO-ary

Today is February 1, and it's the perfect opportunity to celebrate the sanctity of language.  I've noticed that most people pronounce "February" without the first "r."  It comes out as Feb-yoo-ary.  That's not correct.  That first "r" is quite alive and necessary.

Now, I understand that language changes and evolves.  I get that it does, and that it's necessary.  Every year, an average of 800 words are added to the dictionary while still others become archaic and out of use.  That's fine and dandy, but I don't think there's any excuse for abusing common words.  Mispronouncing "February" is incorrect and just plain lazy.

Austen talks about why Samuel Johnson created the first dictionary.  Basically, he was concerned that the English language would keep changing so much that it would become unrecognizable.  He feared that it might be as hard to read English in two hundred years as it is to read Chaucer's Middle English. (I took a whole class in college on Chaucer, and we had to read the texts in Middle English with no translation.  It really was like reading a foreign language.)  He created the dictionary to standardize the language.  Which is why we can read texts from three hundred years ago and pretty much understand it.  (Speaking of dictionaries, the Oxford English Dictionary only lists one pronunciation for "February," and it includes the first "r.")

It's the same reason why some people lament the decline of teaching cursive in elementary schools.  With the advent of computers, cursive doesn't seem necessary.  But if we don't learn cursive, then how are we going to read texts like the Declaration of Independence?  Being able to read handwritten documents would become obsolete, and we'd have to depend upon translations.

So  let's not require a translation for February ("Oh, back in the olden days, they used to pronounce that first 'r.'  Isn't that weird?"). 

Use the first "r."  :)