Year of the Dawn Wrapped Up

(It's funny; I've been wanting to write this post since December, and I just haven't.  Mostly because it's going to take some research.  My plan has been to look through my journal (which isn't a hardship because I tend to reread my journal entries and even my blog posts - I'm sure that makes me strange) and get some fodder for the post.  It took me a while to get to that point.  Okay, it's time now. )

The Year of the Dawn started on Monday, December 26, 2005, when I went back to work in my virtual assistance practice.  I had taken the previous two weeks off around Christmas as I had the last two years, and I expected to experience the same sense of relaxation, enthusiasm, and vitality going back to work.  My first thought on Monday was that I didn't want to go back to the grind, but being the hard working, plucky little VA that I was, I slugged on.

Wouldn't you know it but I got sick that very night.  Hmmm.  Think my body knew something my conscious mind wasn't quite ready to admit?  Maybe.

I kept working, hoping that my attitude would get better.  I came up with the one-year plan.  In six months I would let go of some of my smaller-hours clients.  By the end of the year, I would get rid of a couple of others that weren't as ideal as my other clients.  Then, I would continue on with my three favorites and develop Write Well U at the same time. Done!  Figured out!  Life, and Virtual Angel, should be just dandy!

Well, it wasn't, and I couldn't imagine why.  Hadn't I come up with a plan?  Shouldn't I be relieved?  I had, but I wasn't.  So after weeks of still feeling unmotivated and not wanting to work, I moved up the one-year plan.  Toward the end of January, I got rid of all my clients except three, and life was good for a while.  I wasn't naive enough to think it would last forever, and I was honest with the Three that I didn't have a sense of how long we would continue to work together, and that I would tell them as soon as I knew anything.

Then in March I had my first of the two surgeries I would have in 2006:  getting my tonsils and adenoids removed.  After the surgery, I had expected pain (the pain after the tonsillectomy wasn't as bad as the first time I had strep throat - thank goodness for that), but I didn't expect the exhaustion and mental fog that stayed with me for a couple of weeks and beyond.

After the fog cleared, I found I still wasn't excited about my practice or working with my wonderful clients (and they really were, and are, wonderful).  One day at lunch, Chris told me, "You know, by the end of the year, you won't have any VA clients," and I promptly burst into tears.  Tears because I knew he was right, and I was already mourning the demise of Virtual Angel, even though I knew it was the right decision.

Then, in April after a fabulous vacation to my favorite place on earth, I still didn't have that same sense of enthusiasm coming back to reality.  During a client call with Laura, we talked about my lack of motivation and vigor.  She told me, "I think it's probably time for you to close your VA practice."

(Interesting that everyone else could see it before I could.  Actually, I think it's because I wasn't ready to accept the inevitable.)

I spent the next few months wrapping up projects, transitioning to new and/or existing VAs for the Three, and trying to figure out what I wanted in my life through journaling and blogging (aren't you glad you were part of that?)

August 1, and my practice was officially closed.  My Write Well U beta class wouldn't start until October, so I was looking at weeks, oodles of time, to be, do some of the things I hadn't done, and design my life.  Oodles of time.

Then came surgery #2 to correct exotropia in my eyes, and my life in no way resembled what it had been before or what I was designing it to be.  While I had some really great things going on like What's Next and creating Write Well U, I became pretty depressed.  I spent the next few weeks taking care of me, asking for help, and just being - no judgments on what I could or should be doing.  I spoke with my coach, and we decided to put our coaching relationship on hold.  I felt I had absorbed all that I could.  I had worked on BEing instead of DOing, having fun before work, work not consuming my life, and making space for me and the things that were important.  After a while, I needed to acclimate myself to those things, and I couldn't add any more new stuff to learn.

Onto to the beginning of December 2006 (my, how time flies), and I was very sick with strep throat (so not fair!) AND a stomach virus.  Geez.  Yuck.  After a couple of days I was fully recovered, and life was golden.  December was a really laid-back month with no expectations (always on my part), and it really felt as if the Year of the Dawn was coming to a close.

I'm not sure what 2007 will be (the Year of Whatever or the Year of Possibilities), but I'm looking forward to incorporating the 2006 Year of the Dawn into it.

What is your year?  If you had to name it, what would it be?

Comments

[Olivia]

Hi, Dawn,

I enjoyed your summary of your year. Sometimes we think we're all alone when our life is coming together weirdly and unexpectedly---I know I do---and I took courage from your writing today.

I am closing my practice and my blog after years of education, credentialling, and coaching practice. I am going to take time off to...be a wife to my middle-aged husband who had a heart attack 6 months ago. I want to savor our time together. Also, I want to just BE. Let my life and days unfold. Wait and see what Spirit brings to each day. Take care of myself. Rest. Be "just a person", instead of a "Life Coach".

I want my 2007 to be The Year I Was Present, instead of being spun up and absorbed in a million projects, client problems, and always struggling to get everything done.

I wish you all the best this new year. Unexpected good things, surprises, good health, and much happiness,
Olivia

[Dawn Goldberg]

I still get amazed by the year I had last year! It was so pivotal and important and amazing and life-changing... I think it's a little weird that it really was a theme for almost the whole year.

I applaud you for taking time out of your coaching practice to just BE - that can be so hard (no pun intended). I hope that your year of being present brings you wonderful things, for this year and the next.

My journey is never-ending, and others' journeys inspire me as well. Thank you for sharing!

P.S. I noticed on your blog that you're reading The Abounding River Logbook. I bought the Abounding River game and the logbook last year to fill my toolbox for my journey. Enjoy!