Write Well Me

Best of Write Well Me - 2006

Enjoy the best of Write Well Me from 2006.  It's a great way to catch up if you're new to Write Well Me, or to revisit some old favorites.

Life in General

• Be, Do, Have
• Welcome to the Flow
• Shift - Harder Than You Think
• Commitments Instead of Commandments
• Closing Virtual Angel
• Closing Virtual Angel Part II
• Shadow Activities
• Lessons from Bandit
• Surrender

Writing Well

• Words With Power I
• Words With Power II
• Words With Power III
• Writing Well - It IS Important
• Update on Last Writing Rant
• Talking in Parts of Speech

Miscellaneous

• I Blog and iPod
• If You Love Me, You'll Read My Blog

What made me pick some posts over others?  Some are near and dear to my heart and were heart-wrenching to write.  Others were fun to write (and to read).  Still others showcase my passion for words and writing.

Enjoy!

Energization, Bueller?

In yesterday's post, I was trying to think of a good word for energization.  The sentence is "...experience that same sense of relaxation, enthusiasm and [insert word here] going back to work."

I was willing to use it, but since I'm supposed to be all about writing well, I thought it was kind of lazy not to go find a real word.  Imagine my surprise when I looked up energization, and it existed!

What I wanted to say, what I was trying to get across, was the sense of not just being energized at a point in time, but a growing, continuing flow of energy.  I really wanted the opposite of enervate.  Even though I could have used energization, I decided to see what else was out there.

Here's what I chose from:

• energy
• liveliness
• strength
• vigor
• vitality

I chose vitality as I tend toward "v" words.  Don't know why; I just do.  Maybe it has something to do with that strong "v" sound as opposed to a soft consonant or a vowel sound. 

Any other contenders out there?

P.S.  You can thank me later for following up such a loooooonnnngggg post with such a nice short one.  :)

Year of the Dawn Wrapped Up

(It's funny; I've been wanting to write this post since December, and I just haven't.  Mostly because it's going to take some research.  My plan has been to look through my journal (which isn't a hardship because I tend to reread my journal entries and even my blog posts - I'm sure that makes me strange) and get some fodder for the post.  It took me a while to get to that point.  Okay, it's time now. )

The Year of the Dawn started on Monday, December 26, 2005, when I went back to work in my virtual assistance practice.  I had taken the previous two weeks off around Christmas as I had the last two years, and I expected to experience the same sense of relaxation, enthusiasm, and vitality going back to work.  My first thought on Monday was that I didn't want to go back to the grind, but being the hard working, plucky little VA that I was, I slugged on.

Wouldn't you know it but I got sick that very night.  Hmmm.  Think my body knew something my conscious mind wasn't quite ready to admit?  Maybe.

I kept working, hoping that my attitude would get better.  I came up with the one-year plan.  In six months I would let go of some of my smaller-hours clients.  By the end of the year, I would get rid of a couple of others that weren't as ideal as my other clients.  Then, I would continue on with my three favorites and develop Write Well U at the same time. Done!  Figured out!  Life, and Virtual Angel, should be just dandy!

Well, it wasn't, and I couldn't imagine why.  Hadn't I come up with a plan?  Shouldn't I be relieved?  I had, but I wasn't.  So after weeks of still feeling unmotivated and not wanting to work, I moved up the one-year plan.  Toward the end of January, I got rid of all my clients except three, and life was good for a while.  I wasn't naive enough to think it would last forever, and I was honest with the Three that I didn't have a sense of how long we would continue to work together, and that I would tell them as soon as I knew anything.

Then in March I had my first of the two surgeries I would have in 2006:  getting my tonsils and adenoids removed.  After the surgery, I had expected pain (the pain after the tonsillectomy wasn't as bad as the first time I had strep throat - thank goodness for that), but I didn't expect the exhaustion and mental fog that stayed with me for a couple of weeks and beyond.

After the fog cleared, I found I still wasn't excited about my practice or working with my wonderful clients (and they really were, and are, wonderful).  One day at lunch, Chris told me, "You know, by the end of the year, you won't have any VA clients," and I promptly burst into tears.  Tears because I knew he was right, and I was already mourning the demise of Virtual Angel, even though I knew it was the right decision.

Then, in April after a fabulous vacation to my favorite place on earth, I still didn't have that same sense of enthusiasm coming back to reality.  During a client call with Laura, we talked about my lack of motivation and vigor.  She told me, "I think it's probably time for you to close your VA practice."

(Interesting that everyone else could see it before I could.  Actually, I think it's because I wasn't ready to accept the inevitable.)

I spent the next few months wrapping up projects, transitioning to new and/or existing VAs for the Three, and trying to figure out what I wanted in my life through journaling and blogging (aren't you glad you were part of that?)

August 1, and my practice was officially closed.  My Write Well U beta class wouldn't start until October, so I was looking at weeks, oodles of time, to be, do some of the things I hadn't done, and design my life.  Oodles of time.

Then came surgery #2 to correct exotropia in my eyes, and my life in no way resembled what it had been before or what I was designing it to be.  While I had some really great things going on like What's Next and creating Write Well U, I became pretty depressed.  I spent the next few weeks taking care of me, asking for help, and just being - no judgments on what I could or should be doing.  I spoke with my coach, and we decided to put our coaching relationship on hold.  I felt I had absorbed all that I could.  I had worked on BEing instead of DOing, having fun before work, work not consuming my life, and making space for me and the things that were important.  After a while, I needed to acclimate myself to those things, and I couldn't add any more new stuff to learn.

Onto to the beginning of December 2006 (my, how time flies), and I was very sick with strep throat (so not fair!) AND a stomach virus.  Geez.  Yuck.  After a couple of days I was fully recovered, and life was golden.  December was a really laid-back month with no expectations (always on my part), and it really felt as if the Year of the Dawn was coming to a close.

I'm not sure what 2007 will be (the Year of Whatever or the Year of Possibilities), but I'm looking forward to incorporating the 2006 Year of the Dawn into it.

What is your year?  If you had to name it, what would it be?

Need More Creative Space. So What Else Is New?

Lately, I've been so busy with life (brother coming back from Iraq, two visits up to Pittsburgh to visit said brother and rest of family, getting ill twice, elementary school talent show, and the like) and the professional side of things (AssistU, Write Well U) that I don't seem to have time to do anything. 

I desperately want to cross-stitch and work on my photo albums, but when it comes time (because at least I am making the time), I just can't.

And of course there's guilt associated with all this: 

• "My photo albums are so out of date.  My poor children won't see the photos from Christmas 2003 until 2013."
• "I have five unfinished quilts just begging me to work on them."
• "I have a cross-stitch project that is this close to being done - yet, it's not done.  What's wrong with me?"
• "I should be working on my novel."  (Gosh, I said it out loud again!)
• "My bookshelves are sagging with the weight of unread books."

Now I really do try to be gentle on myself and understand that while I'm pouring my creative energies into Write Well U, there's not really much left over for other creative stuff.

The first time I realized this was back after I started Virtual Angel.  Before that, I quilted, cross-stitched, had all my photo albums up to date, and worked on any miscellaneous project that came my way (decoupage, anyone?).  Once I started Virtual Angel, I had another outlet for my creativity.  I designed websites, which takes a whole of creativity, and collaborated with my clients on their projects and goals, which takes even more.  I soon found that I just sat and stared at a blank photo album page; I had no clue what I wanted to do with this page.  So it stayed blank.

And that was okay.  For a time.

Then last year, I realized that I was burnt out from my work as a VA and that my passions were driving me in a different direction.  I slowed down, and I was much happier and excited about my life and my new business. 

But I still didn't have much time for my side projects.

There was the situation with my eyes (and it's still here - thank you for asking) and getting geared up for my Write Well U beta class (which continues through March).  There really isn't much time, or space, for my hobbies.

I started thinking about that, and it reminded me of a quotation I saw recently.  Paraphrased, it's that if you say you don't have time for something, you're saying no to that thing.  So, I'm saying no to these things like cross-stitching and photo albums.  Why?  Because I just don't have any creative space in my brain for these activities.  What if I want to have creative space for them?  Well, then that means I have to create more and bigger space in my life so that I can do it all (yeah, yeah, that's another Dawn Thing).

Then I start thinking, "Geez.  How can I create any more space?"  I already don't clean my own house (except for keeping it uncluttered), I rarely cook (except once or twice a week), the laundry piles up until we have no choice but to cart it down and start a load, and I closed Virtual Angel to have more time for me.  What else is there left to do?

The answer is probably (and I don't particularly care for this answer) is that now may just not be the time for me to be particularly crafty and turn out pages of photo albums, a dozen quilts, several cross-stitch patterns, a novel, all the while creating a new company.  All by Sunday!

But I want to!

Christine wrote about how her coach told her to "take lots of naps because expansion takes energy, and naps are good for self-care and energy."

Oh, I've been napping all right!

Seriously, I like the idea of things expanding and that expansion taking energy.  I feel it!  Sometimes that expansion energy is self-reproducing, and I could do more and more and more... But it's directed toward one thing, and the minute that I want to be creative in a different area - Bam!  No interest, no motivation, no energy. 

I'll continue to do what I want to do when I can do it, be at peace about it, concentrate on Write Well U when appropriate, and nap as much as I can.

What Dawn Is Reading Today - 1/24/07

If you're new to Write Well Me, read this to understand why I tell you what I'm reading.  :-)

Mr. Emerson's Wife is my newest book on my table, and I just can't get into it.  I've been so fired up about Write Well U that I'd much rather read Writing Tools than a fiction book.

Somehow, that just doesn't seem right.  :-)

Even just a few pages into Mr. Emerson's Wife,I like the main character, Lidian; I'm just more interested in writing right now.

I'll get to Mr. Emerson's Wife soon.

Time Management - Will It Ever Go Away?

Time management has always been an issue for me, and it may always be.  (I'm really trying to get away from that whole "gotta solve every problem that I come in contact with" mode.  It is what it is.)  Now that Virtual Angel has been closed for a few months, I don't have to manically schedule everything in order to get stuff done.  I've been handling my AssistU duties and my other responsibilities fairly well since they don't take up all my daylight (and nighttime) hours.

However, Write Well U is really picking up, and it's time for me to start paying a little more attention to After School Snacks and E-zines Made EZ - at least to write some articles and keep the sites up to date.  Thank goodness for my fabulous, plucky intern!  Allison is going to make things all better!  Thank you, Allison!  I still have to do stuff, but thank goodness I don't have to do it all alone.

I've enjoyed my less-filled and less-stressed life.  I like my Tuesdays, and I'm not willing to give up the flexibility and freedom I've gained (because I've chosen them) in my life.  I get that it's still a choice, no matter how busy my life gets, but I like it when the choice is easy.  :)

So now I'm faced with being conscious of the choices I make in line with my responsibilities, desires, and goals.  Since I don't want to let go of this new life I've found, I have to find a way to get it stick, and the only way I know how to do that is to manage my time.  I'm on Lesson 5,832 in the Dawn Time Management series.

I've done the Getting Things Done system, Managing Multiple Projects and Priorities class, the Planner Pad planner, Outlook, Excel spreadsheets, and paper calendars.  I've taken something away from each system, but I haven't found one that works for me all the time. 

My latest strategy is a daily pop-up reminder in my Outlook tasks with the following:

• Work on having fun BEFORE work. I don't have to do my work before I can have fun.
• Schedule time intentionally
• Schedule free time every day
• Schedule one day a week as nothing - no appointments, no calls, no obligations
• Schedule time to write - 2 hours a week
• After writing, reward myself
• Schedule things I want to do (quilting, photo albums)

(I think it's a little sad that I have this as a daily reminder, but, hey, you do what you gotta do.)

I've now added this piece to the reminder puzzle:  LOOK AT ALL THESE ELEMENTS AND SCHEDULE THE WEEK WITH THEM IN MIND.

And, yes, that sentence is in all caps in my reminder - just in case I forget.  (Geez.  What?  Am I two years old?)  Since January 1, it just seems as if things are going faster.  Stacy is back from sabbatical, my Write Well U beta class is in full swing, and life just seems fuller.  So, on Sunday, I looked at my week ahead, and I scheduled in fun time, free time, writing time, and no time.  It may work swimmingly this week, and then next week it won't.  ::::shrug:::: I'll just have to keep tweaking and tweaking.  Who knows?  Maybe I'll get to Lesson 9,276, and I can teach my own damn time management program.

If you had to create a daily reminder to help you schedule an intentional life, what would be on that reminder?

You Go, Scott! I Couldn't Have Said It Better (Or More Confidently) Myself!

Scott talks about 4 Communication Confidence Builders.  He focuses mainly on verbal communication, but I see a lot of people do this in their writing as well. 

Here are my additions to the 4 (you have to read Scott's original post for this to make sense):

1.  In addition to Scott's no-no's, don't pepper your speech/writing liberally with "I guess...," "I think...," or "It seems (appears, might be)..."  We're so afraid of being wrong or making a strong statement that we give ourselves an out.  At least, I think we do.  :-)

2.  I've done this!  Just last year I took myself out to lunch, and one day I treated myself to a movie.  Yes, it builds confidence, but it's also important to do something that's just for you.

3.  Anything that makes us vulnerable opens us up to other people and makes them feel safe.

4.  I never thought about the "interesting" vs. "willing," but I'm willing to give it a try.  Interesting.  :-)  I do use "share" as opposed to "tell," and that to me feels so much more cooperative and communicative.

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. Henry David Thoreau

Catching Up With My Blog Friends

Before yesterday's post, I hadn't written in what felt like a bazillion years (and that post was on the power of writing - ironic, eh?).  So what do I do?  I stay up until after 3:00 a.m. writing that one measly post (did you notice the literary genius and intellectual theme of that essay?) and catching up on all my unread blogs (800+).

Now, I am a recovering anal retentive, and I felt a huge pull to read every single one of those 800+ posts.  Luckily, reason set in, and I gave myself permission to just mark most of them read.  However, I made sure I stopped at my favorite blogs, and I'm glad I did - else I wouldn't have had the joy of reading (and viewing the illustrations that just make this post) this entry by Martha on The Random Muse. 

By the way, here are my favorite blogs that I (mostly) read every entry:

Corporate Hallucinations

Christine Kane

Desperate Housewives (Please forgive me. It's my only blog weakness.)

HELLO, My Name Is Blog

Crazy Aunt Purl

Living the Luxe Life

Virtual Moxie

The Virtual Wire

Virtualosophy

Zena Musings

Meryl.net

The Random Muse

Red Inked

Enjoy!

(And may you excuse yourself from any absurd, anal-retentive task!)

Happy Words

In the same vein as Words of Power, the girls and I discussed happy words, those words that seem to express our deepest happiness - right now.

Here are the words we came up with:

• Home
• Sleep (I only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep last night, so this is a very happy word for me today!)
• Love
• Cuddle
• Caress
• Kiss
• Nothing

Chris says his happy words are

• Dawn (awwww)
• Movie

What are your happy words for today?

Music I Miss

Since I got my iPod over a year ago, music has become part of my soul like it never has before.  It took us about four months to rip our entire CD collection, and we've spent more money on iTunes than I care to admit. However, there are some songs I just can't get on iTunes, and although I'm willing to spend some money on music, I'm not keen about the idea of buying a whole CD for just one song.

Here's my perfect CD mix that I'd buy in a heartbeat to fill out my music collection:

"Waiting for a Star to Fall" - Boy Meets Girl

"Cruel Summer" and "Venus" - Bananarama

"Girl, You Know It's True" - Milli Vanilli (I don't care if they're lip-syncing; it's a groovin' song)

"Nasty" and "Black Cat" - Janet Jackson.  8/4/08 Update - iTunes has them!!!  Just goes to show - if one can be patient, one can get what one wants.  (The sad truth is that Dawn isn't very patient, though.)

"Got My Mind Set On You" - George Harrison

"Girl, You'll Be A Woman Soon" - Urge Overkill from Pulp Fiction. I have the Neil Diamond version, which is great, but I like this version, too.  iTunes sells some of the songs from the soundtrack, but not all of them.  Explain that one to me.

Note:  There are a few songs that used to be on this list, like "Heart and Soul" by T'Pau, but every now and then I check back at iTunes, and I'm pleasantly surprised to find them there.  Yay!

1/21/07 Update - I remembered another song I can't get on iTunes:  "I Love Rock 'N' Roll" by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts.  Bummer!  1/31/07 Update - Stacy found it and sent it to me on iTunes.  Yay!

2/3/07 Update - "The Promise" by When in Rome, and I do NOT want the version from Napoleon Dynamite.

2/19/07 Update - "Hands to Heaven" by Breathe

3/24/07 Update - "Let's Go All the Way" by Sly Fox (it's only available if I buy the whole album - not gonna happen).  8/4/08 - The single is now available on iTunes!!!  It pays to keep checking back!

1/30/08 Update - Antonette shared her Bananarama CD with me so I finally have "Cruel Summer."  Thank the music gods.  George Harrison's "I Got My Mind Set On You" has been added to iTunes.  Dawn's a happy girl!

Writing - Staying Rough

True to my word, I'm recounting one of my Writes from my work in Writing the Mind Alive:  The Proprioceptive Method for Finding Your Authentic Voice.  I wrote this last summer as I was contemplating the end of school and the beginning of ____.  That blank is the reason I wanted to write.

To give you a little background on the proprioceptive writing process, it's a bit like free writing.  First, you start with a ritual:  lighting a candle and playing baroque music.  You write for about 25 minutes, never stopping, never editing (please remember that as you read my Write below!).  The idea is to delve into your authentic self, and one of the strategies is to ask yourself (and write about it), "What do I mean by ____?" when you use a word that has a particularly charged meaning.  So as you're reading my Write, you'll see a few places where I do explore a certain idea.

What comes about is something authentic and powerful (and vulnerable).  That's what I wanted to share with you.

End of school - it's tomorrow, and I can't quite seem to comprehend.  What do I mean by comprehend?  Intellectually, I know it's the end of school, but it doesn't feel like the end of school.  Does it have to feel that way?  I think it does because it allows me to get used to the idea of transition.  Maybe I'm afraid of the end of school.  Why?  Because I don't exactly know what life is going to be like this summer.  Summer is always questionable anyway with the lack of schedule and the girls running around.  I wonder if there's some sort of expectation for the summer like:  am I supposed to have it all figured out by the end of summer?  What do I mean by it?  What my passion is, what I want to spend my time on, what I want my life to be like.

I think there's also the fear of just rambling around, not really doing anything or committing to anything.  What do I mean by committing?  Setting - stating out loud - my purpose and my plans.  Maybe because it makes me more respectable.  People, or even myself, aren't looking at me like, "What does she do?"  I don't think my fear is of never finding my purpose; that doesn't feel like a problem or issue.  It's the whole wanting-to-find-it-now thing.  I want to be doing right now what I'm meant to be doing.

But what if what I'm meant to be doing is exactly this:  figuring it out, stumbling a bit, researching?  And why does it have to be stumbling?  It doesn't have to be perfect, but yet I feel I'm doing something wrong or not quite right.  And for the most part, I do believe I'll get there, even through this stumbling, not-rightness.

Maybe I'm feeling very uncomfortable, which is where the stumbling comes in.  I'm on unfamiliar ground, and I don't know the way.  What do I mean by the way?  That there's a path (pre-ordained) I'm meant to find and follow.  Sometimes I feel that it's a mystery with clues just right under my nose, just waiting for me to solve it.

That makes me think that I expect too much of myself - that I must figure out it all our or I'm not - what?  Worthy?  Smart?  Purposeful?

Do I know what I want?  Yes, I think with certainty.  Okay, so what is it?  That's harder to answer.  Why?  Am I afraid of admitting what I want?  Am I afraid of opening up to my own dreams - because they might get crushed or I might never realize them?  Possibly.  I don't think that I'm afraid of success, afraid of my dreams coming true; I think it's more about afraid they won't.

So what if they don't come true?  Have I failed?  Am I left a worthless lump?  I don't think so.  I can't help but think that a failed dream is part of the journey to another, bigger, better dream.

So, I'm allowed to fail.  I'm allowed to open up - even to myself - and I'm allowed to be vulnerable.

So, what do I want?  I'm opening my mind up to the possibilities - no judgments - what do I want?

• Peace, like now, to write, to create, to dream, to develop
• To have the space in my life to pursue my dreams - whatever they may be
• To become one with the earth, ancient things, cycles, life
• To become the best me I can be
• To be connected - to the earth, to people
• To have joy
• To feel - deeply and intensely

Funny how none of the above seems rooted in every day, materialistic life.  There's no mention of scads of money, or traveling, or diamonds, or things.  Interesting.  Although one could say that a material life could enable these things, like having space in my life. 

Maybe these are the things I want - NOW - because all my actions are leading me to those things.  In other words, once I achieve some or all of these things, that list may change.  And is that all right?  Yes!!  Although I think that was my problem.  I think I thought I had to have my list of wants - this list had to be valid for now and forever - know what they were, and then work toward them for the rest of my life.

What if these wants are just the here and now, or the summer, or six months, or a year?  Maybe I achieve some of them, all of them, or none of them.  Then maybe it's time to want other things, and move on.

Am I okay with these being temporary?  Pretty sure.  Some of these things seem like they should be permanent things, but I'm okay with them just being.  Just being for now.

(Thoughts from the writer:  While I wouldn't publish this (well, besides on my blog) with the whole "What do I mean by ___?" the ensuing thoughts add a lot to the piece.)

I shared this Write for a few reasons.  First, I thought it was a great example of how many of us feel embarking on a new journey, especially those of us who have perfection issues.   

Also, I think this is a great testament to the power of writing.  Look at the stream of consciousness and the thought process I went through.  By the end of this Write, I felt at peace and as if I had figured out something. 

Finally, I wanted to show the process of writing.  This isn't a finished product by any means.  It's one way to write, and if I truly did want to do something more with it, I would polish, refine, rewrite, edit, cut, add, edit, rewrite.  There are pieces that I like from it, words and phrases and whole chunks I used, that I could use somewhere, in something else, but I doubt I would ever use this in its entirety; it is a little too rambling and too many ideas are presented.

There are so many things I want to ask:  What do you think about this as a writing process?  What do you think about the Write in terms of journeys, perfection, finding out what you want?  Anything else you want to say about it?

Back to Writing

Happy New Year!  I had planned on doing so much writing over the past few weeks but the holidays, being sick, and life got in the way.  I had (and still have) great ideas for blog posts, and I was really (and still am!) excited about writing them.  I just didn't do it.

Over the holidays, I was talking to my family about Write Well University and how it's shaping up.  My aunt asked me a question (which I can't remember), but my answer was, "If I had my druthers, I'd go away for six months to a cabin and just write - write every day."  My aunt replied, "Yep. That's what I always pictured you doing."

(For those of you who don't know, "druthers" is the noun form for "I'd rather."  I had to explain it to my twenty-one-year-old cousin.  I didn't think I was that old!  It's not like I used the term "high-test" or anything.  That one's for you, Vicky!)

Now, going to a cabin isn't really feasible for me, so I have to find ways to incorporate cabin life into real life.  I started yesterday by devising a sample schedule.

Another aside:  I balked a bit at the idea of creating a schedule.  2006 was so much about BEing instead of DOing, and I so don't want to go back to that DOing, DOing, DOing all the time again.  My idea was to create a sample schedule, an idea of a schedule, that I could pull out as needed.

Today it started.  My entire Thursday morning was free, and I decided to devote it to writing.  However, I found that I was finding excuses to put it off.  Hmmm.  Interesting.  So I pulled out my Writing the Mind Alive:  The Proprioceptive Method for Finding Your Authentic Voice, and I began writing.  I wrote about how I was afraid to write and what I was afraid of writing.  It was quite therapeutic, and immediately after I did some writing on my - gulp - novel.  Yikes!  You'll never know how hard that was to say, err, write.

Afterward, I went through one of my past Writes (that's what Metcalf calls these exercises), and I was stunned at the power of the writing.  I've gotten away from a regular writing practice (the situation with my eyes is responsible for some of that lapse, but it shouldn't have caused me to completely step away from writing - I let that happen), and I've forgotten how wonderful it is. 

I'll be posting the Write that really opened my eyes (sorry - couldn't help it) tomorrow.  Look for it!

And may you never let anything get in the way of your true passion.